What is it and why does the body do it? It seems like the mind is telling the person to do something but one cannot get themselves to actually do it.
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I have ADHD. Which I got diagnosed as an adult, just 1½ years ago. The inability to do decision comes from a strange feature of human brains. ADHD people basically exist in a natural state of boredom – on a neurological level, as in lack of stimulation. Humans dislike boredom, so much that it is used a form of torture. It will drive people to do things they’d never imagine. A interesting test of this is: Put people to a boring but comfortable room, and only have a button there that gives a painful electric shock, it is a mattter of time until everyone is about to press that for the 3rd time. Now… Our brains have a feature of self-defence. If it has to do something it really doesn’t want to do, it will basically shut down.
So when ADHD person gets that paralysis. Where they’d rather do NOTHING at all, than something that is not stimulating to them. It is quite literally our brains shutting down, going to a even deeper state of low stimulation. This can lead you to just like… Idling on a chair, or walking in circles.
So what do our medications do exactly? First of all not everyone takes medication, some people are able to work without, and some people only need tools given from therapy – it is unique case by case basis, just like all neuropsychiatric things are. The medications used increases the amount of dopamine in our system. This isn’t just “feel good chemical” this is actually critical neutrotransmitter, that adjust finemotor controls, circadian rhythm, learning and memory formation, sensory inputs… it seems like it is everywhere if you look close enough. So what this does to someone with ADHD, is that it normalises our brains. We become more like people who don’t have ADHD. It increases the activity in our brains, meaning that our brains are more energetic, and we have more control. It removes the state of low stimulation, the perpetual boredom.
I think the best description of being on and off medication came from my friends kid. When they are on medication, it is like the hundred different radiostations are turned down and you are able to hear your thoughts. This is very good way of explaning it. Humans are bad at making decision, simple as you don’t know what kind of socks to put on. Well… imagine that you have 100 decision needed to be done, happening in your brain at once, and you are desperately trying to force your thought processes to the critical important decisions.
Imagine getting 1-3 pop ups with a small irrelevant decision every second. And during that, you also get important popups. How long do you think you would be able to deal with this? One ADHD test done to kids, is quite literally “Look at this computer screen and follow the tasks given on it” these are very menial and boring tasks. Then you measure how long it takes for the kid to absolutely give up on it.
Also… that thought in your head of. “*I know that I must do this thing. I need to do this thing. I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS THING!*” is fucking scary i tell ya. It is like I have no control at all. My body is just going about the day on automatic, and I’m just riding along. Shouting and screaming inside my head. Like… I am in control, but I am not in control. And it feel horrifying.
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