What is it and why does the body do it? It seems like the mind is telling the person to do something but one cannot get themselves to actually do it.
In: 521
This is only my subjective experience, but picture doing tasks as eating M&Ms. Now, that would be simple, but add in that everyone else says you’re supposed to eat M&Ms in rainbow order. If the fact that you’re supposed to eat them in rainbow order makes little sense then congratulations, we’re on the same page. The order people expect me to do tasks doesn’t make sense to me either. I just try my best.
Now that we’ve established that you need to eat M&Ms in rainbow order, know that there are always more M&Ms coming. You don’t know what color they’ll be, but you can assume there will almost always be another one just around the corner.
FINALLY, we’ve reached the main part about ADHD and what makes this M&M eating hard… you’re colorblind. Not like red-green colorblind. All of the M&Ms are grey to you, with very minimal differentiation.
Now you know you’re supposed to eat the M&Ms in order, but you can’t really easily tell the difference between all of the colors so you try to organize them first, but new ones keep coming in and the older ones are getting old. Everyone keeps telling you you’re forgetting about the orange ones and that they need this yellow one done ASAP. But they’re interrupting your sorting so you only have room to half-listen so then you know that you need to get one of yellow ones done ASAP but you’re still not sure which ones are the yellow ones so you need to check in on which ones are red and orange and yellow and commit that to memory, then you need to eat all of the red ones then all the orange ones then all the yellow ones just to make sure that the one that they needed ASAP gets done.
The thing is, with so many intermediary steps and so many interruptions from people presuming you’ve forgotten about x thing they care about, and the constant stream of new M&Ms, you become overwhelmed in the same way that the run-on sentence in the last paragraph must have been tiring to read.
People are critical that I don’t get tasks done, and people are critical I don’t get the task that *they* want done, and people are critical that I don’t get the tasks done in the right order, so I end up spending so much time trying make sure I’m satisfying all of those criticisms to make sure I don’t get told I’m doing a bad job that I’m tired before I start.
And as an additional bonus, at least in my case, I don’t even need someone else telling me I’m doing a bad job anymore. I have a model for what other people act like and expect of me that is so detailed that I can construct criticisms that they would most likely have of how I’m doing in my own head and play it out in *their voice* so I get to hear that I’m doing a bad job and that I should do better a hundred times a day because the human brain likes to latch onto negative stimulus like a monkey’s paw in a jar.
Semi-TL;DR:
So essentially ADHD paralysis is a constant cycle of being overwhelmed with a torrent of information and expectations that don’t make sense while trying your best to follow guidelines while being nearly completely unable to intuitively and efficiently differentiate any level of task importance, all while being emotionally exhausted by being constantly denigrated by specters of other peoples expectations that at this point neither you, nor them have control over anymore.
It’s awful. And beyond that, it’s incredibly shitty because it makes no intuitive sense to people who don’t experience it. Eating shouldn’t feel like it’s just as important as cleaning my room or doing my homework or calling my mom or sending that email, but it does. Rigid structure helps because it takes all the guesswork out because someone else gives you the M&M you’re supposed to eat when you’re supposed to eat it, but it also gets borked super easily when more M&Ms get into the mix because, again, I can’t tell which M&M is the More Important Color.
Yes, my sentence structure is atrocious. I’m currently unmedicated against my will. It will happen again.
This is only my subjective experience, but picture doing tasks as eating M&Ms. Now, that would be simple, but add in that everyone else says you’re supposed to eat M&Ms in rainbow order. If the fact that you’re supposed to eat them in rainbow order makes little sense then congratulations, we’re on the same page. The order people expect me to do tasks doesn’t make sense to me either. I just try my best.
Now that we’ve established that you need to eat M&Ms in rainbow order, know that there are always more M&Ms coming. You don’t know what color they’ll be, but you can assume there will almost always be another one just around the corner.
FINALLY, we’ve reached the main part about ADHD and what makes this M&M eating hard… you’re colorblind. Not like red-green colorblind. All of the M&Ms are grey to you, with very minimal differentiation.
Now you know you’re supposed to eat the M&Ms in order, but you can’t really easily tell the difference between all of the colors so you try to organize them first, but new ones keep coming in and the older ones are getting old. Everyone keeps telling you you’re forgetting about the orange ones and that they need this yellow one done ASAP. But they’re interrupting your sorting so you only have room to half-listen so then you know that you need to get one of yellow ones done ASAP but you’re still not sure which ones are the yellow ones so you need to check in on which ones are red and orange and yellow and commit that to memory, then you need to eat all of the red ones then all the orange ones then all the yellow ones just to make sure that the one that they needed ASAP gets done.
The thing is, with so many intermediary steps and so many interruptions from people presuming you’ve forgotten about x thing they care about, and the constant stream of new M&Ms, you become overwhelmed in the same way that the run-on sentence in the last paragraph must have been tiring to read.
People are critical that I don’t get tasks done, and people are critical I don’t get the task that *they* want done, and people are critical that I don’t get the tasks done in the right order, so I end up spending so much time trying make sure I’m satisfying all of those criticisms to make sure I don’t get told I’m doing a bad job that I’m tired before I start.
And as an additional bonus, at least in my case, I don’t even need someone else telling me I’m doing a bad job anymore. I have a model for what other people act like and expect of me that is so detailed that I can construct criticisms that they would most likely have of how I’m doing in my own head and play it out in *their voice* so I get to hear that I’m doing a bad job and that I should do better a hundred times a day because the human brain likes to latch onto negative stimulus like a monkey’s paw in a jar.
Semi-TL;DR:
So essentially ADHD paralysis is a constant cycle of being overwhelmed with a torrent of information and expectations that don’t make sense while trying your best to follow guidelines while being nearly completely unable to intuitively and efficiently differentiate any level of task importance, all while being emotionally exhausted by being constantly denigrated by specters of other peoples expectations that at this point neither you, nor them have control over anymore.
It’s awful. And beyond that, it’s incredibly shitty because it makes no intuitive sense to people who don’t experience it. Eating shouldn’t feel like it’s just as important as cleaning my room or doing my homework or calling my mom or sending that email, but it does. Rigid structure helps because it takes all the guesswork out because someone else gives you the M&M you’re supposed to eat when you’re supposed to eat it, but it also gets borked super easily when more M&Ms get into the mix because, again, I can’t tell which M&M is the More Important Color.
Yes, my sentence structure is atrocious. I’m currently unmedicated against my will. It will happen again.
I could be wrong, but I believe it has something to do with the dopamine-reward system. Because there people with ADHD are effectively deficient in dopamine, they don’t get the dopamine reward from doing little tasks. Not only does this make doing little boring things less enjoyable, their brain actually interprets the absence/lack of dopamine reward for a given task as a negative result as if it’s a bad thing, similar to doing something dangerous or scary.
So their brain is kind of treating certain tasks as something unsafe, or scary (“WOAH, STAY AWAY FROM THAT, THATS BAD FOR YOU”), even though it might just be something like starting their homework.
I could be wrong, but I believe it has something to do with the dopamine-reward system. Because there people with ADHD are effectively deficient in dopamine, they don’t get the dopamine reward from doing little tasks. Not only does this make doing little boring things less enjoyable, their brain actually interprets the absence/lack of dopamine reward for a given task as a negative result as if it’s a bad thing, similar to doing something dangerous or scary.
So their brain is kind of treating certain tasks as something unsafe, or scary (“WOAH, STAY AWAY FROM THAT, THATS BAD FOR YOU”), even though it might just be something like starting their homework.
I have ADHD. Which I got diagnosed as an adult, just 1½ years ago. The inability to do decision comes from a strange feature of human brains. ADHD people basically exist in a natural state of boredom – on a neurological level, as in lack of stimulation. Humans dislike boredom, so much that it is used a form of torture. It will drive people to do things they’d never imagine. A interesting test of this is: Put people to a boring but comfortable room, and only have a button there that gives a painful electric shock, it is a mattter of time until everyone is about to press that for the 3rd time. Now… Our brains have a feature of self-defence. If it has to do something it really doesn’t want to do, it will basically shut down.
So when ADHD person gets that paralysis. Where they’d rather do NOTHING at all, than something that is not stimulating to them. It is quite literally our brains shutting down, going to a even deeper state of low stimulation. This can lead you to just like… Idling on a chair, or walking in circles.
So what do our medications do exactly? First of all not everyone takes medication, some people are able to work without, and some people only need tools given from therapy – it is unique case by case basis, just like all neuropsychiatric things are. The medications used increases the amount of dopamine in our system. This isn’t just “feel good chemical” this is actually critical neutrotransmitter, that adjust finemotor controls, circadian rhythm, learning and memory formation, sensory inputs… it seems like it is everywhere if you look close enough. So what this does to someone with ADHD, is that it normalises our brains. We become more like people who don’t have ADHD. It increases the activity in our brains, meaning that our brains are more energetic, and we have more control. It removes the state of low stimulation, the perpetual boredom.
I think the best description of being on and off medication came from my friends kid. When they are on medication, it is like the hundred different radiostations are turned down and you are able to hear your thoughts. This is very good way of explaning it. Humans are bad at making decision, simple as you don’t know what kind of socks to put on. Well… imagine that you have 100 decision needed to be done, happening in your brain at once, and you are desperately trying to force your thought processes to the critical important decisions.
Imagine getting 1-3 pop ups with a small irrelevant decision every second. And during that, you also get important popups. How long do you think you would be able to deal with this? One ADHD test done to kids, is quite literally “Look at this computer screen and follow the tasks given on it” these are very menial and boring tasks. Then you measure how long it takes for the kid to absolutely give up on it.
Also… that thought in your head of. “*I know that I must do this thing. I need to do this thing. I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS THING!*” is fucking scary i tell ya. It is like I have no control at all. My body is just going about the day on automatic, and I’m just riding along. Shouting and screaming inside my head. Like… I am in control, but I am not in control. And it feel horrifying.
I have ADHD. Which I got diagnosed as an adult, just 1½ years ago. The inability to do decision comes from a strange feature of human brains. ADHD people basically exist in a natural state of boredom – on a neurological level, as in lack of stimulation. Humans dislike boredom, so much that it is used a form of torture. It will drive people to do things they’d never imagine. A interesting test of this is: Put people to a boring but comfortable room, and only have a button there that gives a painful electric shock, it is a mattter of time until everyone is about to press that for the 3rd time. Now… Our brains have a feature of self-defence. If it has to do something it really doesn’t want to do, it will basically shut down.
So when ADHD person gets that paralysis. Where they’d rather do NOTHING at all, than something that is not stimulating to them. It is quite literally our brains shutting down, going to a even deeper state of low stimulation. This can lead you to just like… Idling on a chair, or walking in circles.
So what do our medications do exactly? First of all not everyone takes medication, some people are able to work without, and some people only need tools given from therapy – it is unique case by case basis, just like all neuropsychiatric things are. The medications used increases the amount of dopamine in our system. This isn’t just “feel good chemical” this is actually critical neutrotransmitter, that adjust finemotor controls, circadian rhythm, learning and memory formation, sensory inputs… it seems like it is everywhere if you look close enough. So what this does to someone with ADHD, is that it normalises our brains. We become more like people who don’t have ADHD. It increases the activity in our brains, meaning that our brains are more energetic, and we have more control. It removes the state of low stimulation, the perpetual boredom.
I think the best description of being on and off medication came from my friends kid. When they are on medication, it is like the hundred different radiostations are turned down and you are able to hear your thoughts. This is very good way of explaning it. Humans are bad at making decision, simple as you don’t know what kind of socks to put on. Well… imagine that you have 100 decision needed to be done, happening in your brain at once, and you are desperately trying to force your thought processes to the critical important decisions.
Imagine getting 1-3 pop ups with a small irrelevant decision every second. And during that, you also get important popups. How long do you think you would be able to deal with this? One ADHD test done to kids, is quite literally “Look at this computer screen and follow the tasks given on it” these are very menial and boring tasks. Then you measure how long it takes for the kid to absolutely give up on it.
Also… that thought in your head of. “*I know that I must do this thing. I need to do this thing. I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS THING!*” is fucking scary i tell ya. It is like I have no control at all. My body is just going about the day on automatic, and I’m just riding along. Shouting and screaming inside my head. Like… I am in control, but I am not in control. And it feel horrifying.
I have ADHD. Which I got diagnosed as an adult, just 1½ years ago. The inability to do decision comes from a strange feature of human brains. ADHD people basically exist in a natural state of boredom – on a neurological level, as in lack of stimulation. Humans dislike boredom, so much that it is used a form of torture. It will drive people to do things they’d never imagine. A interesting test of this is: Put people to a boring but comfortable room, and only have a button there that gives a painful electric shock, it is a mattter of time until everyone is about to press that for the 3rd time. Now… Our brains have a feature of self-defence. If it has to do something it really doesn’t want to do, it will basically shut down.
So when ADHD person gets that paralysis. Where they’d rather do NOTHING at all, than something that is not stimulating to them. It is quite literally our brains shutting down, going to a even deeper state of low stimulation. This can lead you to just like… Idling on a chair, or walking in circles.
So what do our medications do exactly? First of all not everyone takes medication, some people are able to work without, and some people only need tools given from therapy – it is unique case by case basis, just like all neuropsychiatric things are. The medications used increases the amount of dopamine in our system. This isn’t just “feel good chemical” this is actually critical neutrotransmitter, that adjust finemotor controls, circadian rhythm, learning and memory formation, sensory inputs… it seems like it is everywhere if you look close enough. So what this does to someone with ADHD, is that it normalises our brains. We become more like people who don’t have ADHD. It increases the activity in our brains, meaning that our brains are more energetic, and we have more control. It removes the state of low stimulation, the perpetual boredom.
I think the best description of being on and off medication came from my friends kid. When they are on medication, it is like the hundred different radiostations are turned down and you are able to hear your thoughts. This is very good way of explaning it. Humans are bad at making decision, simple as you don’t know what kind of socks to put on. Well… imagine that you have 100 decision needed to be done, happening in your brain at once, and you are desperately trying to force your thought processes to the critical important decisions.
Imagine getting 1-3 pop ups with a small irrelevant decision every second. And during that, you also get important popups. How long do you think you would be able to deal with this? One ADHD test done to kids, is quite literally “Look at this computer screen and follow the tasks given on it” these are very menial and boring tasks. Then you measure how long it takes for the kid to absolutely give up on it.
Also… that thought in your head of. “*I know that I must do this thing. I need to do this thing. I REALLY NEED TO DO THIS THING!*” is fucking scary i tell ya. It is like I have no control at all. My body is just going about the day on automatic, and I’m just riding along. Shouting and screaming inside my head. Like… I am in control, but I am not in control. And it feel horrifying.
So imagine there is a hot plate on the stove. You have all the physical abilities and abilities to pick it up. Yet your brain won’t let you touch it. That’s what ADHD paralysis feels like from the inside. You’re desperately try to do it but you just can’t.
Have you ever had something bad happen to you that made you afraid to do anything like it again?
For many with ADHD, they have let others down or let themselves down when they failed to remember to do a task or to do the task properly without distraction. This feeling comes back when they think of doing the task again.
Each time they try to get up off the couch to do a task, it is like facing a fear. It takes a considerable effort to push past it, and many times the energy to do so just isn’t there.
That is the simple version. It isn’t exactly accurate, but it is how I’d say it to my 5 year old.
So imagine there is a hot plate on the stove. You have all the physical abilities and abilities to pick it up. Yet your brain won’t let you touch it. That’s what ADHD paralysis feels like from the inside. You’re desperately try to do it but you just can’t.
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