Being unmotivated/sad/anxious/insecure over other people’s success. Why?


Being unmotivated/sad/anxious/insecure over other people’s success. Why?

In: Other

Definitely personal, no one could give you accurate diagnosis over the internet without more info. Perhaps it’s temporary, but if you’ve been feeling this for an extended period of time, I would seek professional guidance. As stigmatized as psychiatrists are, they will absolutely help.

As humans, we like to compare ourselves with others as we feel the need to be better than those around us. When we see a friend or family member doing amazing things like graduating with honours or setting up a successful business or getting a well paid job, our natural instinct is to feel jealous, and think “why can’t that be me?”

The best advice I can give is to realise that you are running your own race. Yes it’s nice to be doing certain things better than your peers, but at the end of the day, there is no award at the end of your life saying “you earned more than your cousin John” or “your house is bigger than Stephanie’s.” You have to live your life for you and you only. Do what makes you happy!

We evolved the capacity to feel threatened by the success of other humans because in a small group others having more power(status/success) means us having less and that is dangerous for our reproductive chances. Envy was a useful impulse that evolved in times of scarcity, nowadays it’s not useful, being close to successful people or helping people get success/power/status is how you gain power yourself, because there is an abundance of options.