There’s always a depiction of our memory being stored like books in a library. That we can just walk to some shelf and pull out exactly which memory we want.
A more accurate analogy is that memory is stored like bundles of string. We pull at one end of a string to bring forth a chain of memories. Think about how we remember the alphabet order. We sing the alphabet song in one direction, pulling out each letter by letter but it’s really hard to go backwards!
And it doesn’t have to be us consciously thinking of our memories. Triggers to our senses like a familiar smell, sound, etc. can tug at memory strings and bring forth a set of memories.
Emotions will color our memories and the stronger the emotion, the thicker the cord is on the memory string, allowing it to last longer whether we like it or not. Imagine traumatic memories as a string coated in spikes. Pulling at it to remember it will hurt!
So we suppress memories by hiding the ends of the strings connecting the traumatic memories or avoiding situations that may trigger pulling those strings. They become difficult to recall but those sharp cords still exist. Sometimes we wander into those areas and still get cut on the spikes. However, since we don’t fully recall it, there is no easy way to get rid of it so we tend to avoid the area. This avoidance can end up shaping our personalities and relationships with others.
Introspection and therapy allows you to find these sharp strings and process them in a safe space. It helps you realize what and why you have been suppressing certain memories and that effect on yourself. Only when you can find these memories can you manage to process them to reduce the spikes and allow your mind to heal.
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