Ok so quick context here,
I really want to focus on the “explain like Im five part. ”
I’m already quite aware of what is autism.
But I have an autistic 9 yo son and I really struggle to explain the situation to him and other kids in simple understandable terms, suitable for their age, and ideally present him in a cool way that could preserve his self esteem.
In: 7421
I want to chime in here with a slightly different perspective. I am autistic, and my child is autistic.
We both fall in the realm of “sensory seeking” autistics, something that is rarely talked about. For example, I like having all the lights on as bright as possible. My child will make noise to fill a quiet room. We spin and flap and tap and show our joy through movement, and sound. And we both shut down, be still be quiet, to show our pain.
Something that I think is missing throughout the conversations and representations of autism, is that emotions are also a sense. (everything in life is experienced as sensory input or output, with perhaps a grey area concerning thoughts, but hey, those are electrical outputs that connect to the rest of the body). Whilst I may love bright lights, and loud music, the experience of a strong negative emotions can cause me to become catatonic, and non-verbal. The experience of a strong positive emotion cannot be contained to just my thoughts, it flows out of me like a dance.
Briefly touching on high and low support needs, (I’m sure others have mentioned, but I haven’t read all the comments) , this is a fluctuating thing. Every day can be different. My needs change in response to the external world, and my internal world. This is the same for everyone, so to use these labels is at best, unhelpful. High support needs has become synonymous with non-verbal. But the term in actuality tells us nothing about a person, and what they may require in that moment.
Recognising that this is not much of a Eli5 comment, I will just mention how I explain autism to my child: everyone’s brains and experiences of life are different. Your type of brain has a name – autism, but that has been defined by others. Your strengths, and your weaknesses are your own. You may struggle with certain sounds, or foods, or textures. You may struggle with rules, and unfairness, and routines. All of your struggles are okay to have, and shame is not the path to love. How you communicate with some people will be more of a struggle than with how you communicate with others, and there will be people who don’t not understand all that you are. That is okay, it’s hard but it is okay. Find your people, and be true to yourself. Autism is a beautiful thing, if you surround yourself with those who see your beauty, and respect your struggles. You can learn new things– if you want to learn to communicate in a different way, you can, if you want to learn to change who you are, you can. But you do not need to. Everyone’s brain is beautiful, and everyone has struggles and successes.
I regularly bring up things from my life to my child that are directly related to my experience of autism. And I question them on their perceptions: if that texture was a sound, what would it be? What would be the absolute worst way to say hello to a friend, and the absolute best way? What’s something that adults do that makes no sense at all and what would you do instead?
I guess these aren’t so much about explaining autism as they are accepting oneself, but I have in the past gone through lists of diagnostic criteria, and other people’s lived experiences, and we’ve talked about “oh yeah, I get that too” or “hmm, I don’t know if that’s me”. The isolation of being autistic and either not knowing, or not understanding what that meant, had profound impacts on me, and I want my child to understand that they are not alone in their differences, and that their struggles are not some moral failing.
Anyway this got long and rambly and I’m not sure if I even answered the question correctly. For what it’s worth, my child is 10, and has been diagnosed since they were 2, so we’ve had a lot of time to talk. When they were younger, I made a joke out of catching myself doing things, and yelling “hey look, it’s the autism!” and doing a silly dance. They can identify that for themselves now, which is helpful at times when they’re being a brat, and they can say to me “it’s not the autism this time, I’m just being a butthead” 😂
Anyway. Good thread. Good question. Sorry for the rambling.
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