Eli5: Why do elements look and behave so differently?

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Why does increasing or decreasing the number of protons (as you move about the periodic table) drastically change how elements look and behave. How is it with slightly different quantities of the same thing get you from gold to salt to helium? Are those atomic particles really are there is to matter?

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You rarely encounter atoms by themselves. Instead you find atoms clumped with other atoms. So how the atoms behave in groups is far more important than how they behave alone.

Electrons like to travel in pairs. This makes atoms with an odd number of electrons want to cooperate with other atoms that have an odd number of electrons so that together they have an even number of electrons.

Electrons act as very complicated waves surrounding the atom. These complex waves have preferred configurations. If an atom has more atoms or fewer atoms than needed for one of the preferred configurations, it will work with other atoms to fix the problem.

There are two basic ways for atoms to cooperate. They can share electrons, or they can donate electrons to each other. Sharing tends to bind the atoms more tightly to each other.

The shape of the waves mentioned earlier is important. For example water, which has two hydrogens and one oxygen, is bent at an angle due to the shapes of the electron waves. Carbon dioxide on the other hand, which has two oxygens and one carbon, is a straight line. This has enormous implications for the two different chemicals.

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