eli5: Why do we destroy/feel the urge to destroy things when angry? How does that relieve anger/stress?
In: Other
“WE” don’t.
People that are not in control of their emotions do.
I have never had the urge to destroy something when I was angry. I tossed a table once to show my ex how stupid her throwing her smart phone was. She never threw it again (that I am aware of).
This is really no different than wanting to fight someone when you are mad.
I feel that part of other posters are right but to add: under normal circumstances we have two main brain systems, a fast system (Sys. 1) that is automatic and a slow system that is less reactive and filters through inputs (Sys. 2).
Emotions are guided by Sys. 1, but can be reigned in by Sys. 2. However, enough stress to the system, and repeated inputs will make Sys. 2 be less efficient, and Sys. 1 will do the driving while Sys. 2 takes a nap. That nap is just long enough to let impulses, such as lashing out at the world because angry, happen.
I think this behavior is when you grow on a surroundings that is shouting and throwing things is the only way to show they are angry when you are young.
But did you know sometimes throwing things makes you feel better?
If you feel threatened to your core, the best chance of survival is running. The second best option is to destroy everything in the vicinity.
Not that it doesn’t exist, but I don’t think freaking out and breaking things is a particular common (or normal) trait for adults. I’ve only ever seen streamers & actors smash stuff.
Maybe it is for those who have no particular outlet to properly vent or perhaps grew up in an environment where that was normalised? Surely breaking something on ‘instinct’ causes more stress.
Either way, it probably comes from wanting to distract yourself. Punch a wall? Suddenly pain to deal with. Break a table? Time to get a new table. In terms of attacking people, it’s probably to do with asserting dominance or to feel ‘stronger’.
It does not: aggression/violence does not provide a cathartic effect for anger. Even doing nothing is more effective.
if you can break something then you have power over it, control over it. through physical action, you can create a noticeable, real change in your environment, even if that change is destructive. much of our anger and frustration is caused by a feeling of powerlessness and an inability to make things go our way or improve our situation.
People deal with anger differently, I had this chick who could cut herself with a razor or something sharp to bleed. She said it helped her calm her anger, had to break up with that phsyco because it was scary. For me I just get lost for a while abd cool off.
Can we get this eli2 as well, my toddler loves throwing things when she doesn’t get her way.
Anger as an emotion is the fight part of the “fight, flight, freeze, fawn” responses we have to danger.
We wanna fight because we feel something is dangerous, or otherwise takes control away from us, and we can’t get away from it otherwise. It is the “put into a corner, stay alive at all costs” part of the lizard brain.
Unfortunately, most ‘threats’ we face in the modern day aren’t ‘real’; or at least not physical. We can’t punch them or beat em with a stick. But we also can’t run or appease them. This leads to building stress, which just demands you fight more, which causes an endless loop of anxiety that can manifest as more anger.
However, the urge to hit something is physiological; it is body chemistry, not mental. All it demands is action that feels like action.
Punching something releases the chemicals necessary to allow your body to calm down for the time being; to feel like it has defeated the threat, or at least fended it off for now. Sure, the tiger might still be alive, but it’s not here anymore; your mind is centered, and allowed to think again so you can plan your next move.
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