Pure sodium is not electronically happy, and can’t even be stored in air without slowly reacting.
NaCl on the other hand… each of the Na+ and Cl- atoms are electronically happy. They have swapped an electron away from sodium and to chlorine.
An exothermic reaction would happen with elemental sodium and chlorine, similar sodium and water.
When the molecule of NaCl dissociates in water, as you mentioned, it’s just happy, charged, low energy atoms bumbling around and interacting with polar water molecules. No reaction takes place because they’ve already swapped that electron. Another swap with a water molecule to make a reaction between salt and water would require an incredibly high energy investment
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