I had to read through a lot of these to understand the solution.
It looks like you are quite right, it is almost impossible to discern friend vs foe.
The solution is to have a person in the friendly group guiding you to attack the foe. This is hard to do so the JTAC is a skilled position. If no such person is available, anyone could try to do it but this may not work out well. There are various technical add ons that make this process simpler for the people on the ground but the approach is still similar.
Now, this likely rests on someone on a radio or similar calling for help so you have to have a way to authenticate they are in fact a friend and not a clever foe or a foe’s AI.
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