What I always hear is “grow thick skin”. I guess there should be a process to do that or a mental training. But how?
I don’t talk about insensitivity or sociopath behaviour, but more like being toughy when it comes to little problem.
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You shift the perspective, mentally and emotionally.
> “If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.” ― Yogi Bhajan
Any individual who would choose to speak or act negatively towards you is only be doing so out of some basic psychological necessity.
They *need* to be negative towards others.
Once you recognize that, you quickly stop caring what they’re saying to you, or about you.
This isn’t about you.
Think back to all the people who ever acted negatively towards you, did you deserve it?
Now think about that individual and their life. What was their general demeanor? How did they act or behave in general?
I would bet, every single time, that any individual you apply this to would be a very negative individual overall and their existence would not be a pleasant one, basically ever.
The more you analyze the people who are directing negativity towards you, the more you recognize that these individuals all likely have had some level of emotional trauma in their past that has placed a terrible emotional burden on them.
This burden forces them to deflect all attention and seek to immediately satisfy the demands of their inner child.
This is why the less you react to a bully, the quicker they move on to someone else. Once that base need isn’t being satisfied, they will quickly shift their attention to someone else who will meet their needs.
If you sat them down and forced them to face themselves on a deep level, they’d crumble under the pressure, every time.
Some of the “toughest” bullies I knew weren’t tough at all.
Once you master the above, you’ll recognize that this isn’t about growing thicker skin at all. It’s simply about existing and not being affected by those around you.
> Neo : What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
> Morpheus : No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.
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