How is autism actually treated? You hear people saying the diagnosis changed their kids life or it’s important to be diagnosed early, but how?
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Autism encompasses a large spectrum of symptoms and behaviors. Children with autism struggle in school and later in academia and diagnosing early makes a world of difference in their overall academic performance, if the schools are actually equipped to deal with autistic children. In the standard educational system most autistic students struggle to perform and integrate, even if their autism does not prevent them from actually grasping the contents of the classes. The difference can be immense since in the case of early diagnosis and proper adjusted curicculums the student can get good grades, enroll in university and have more career opportunities afforded to them. In the case where it goes undiagnosed, not only will their grades be bad which effectively destroys any hope of higher education but they’re also on the receiving end of very shitty behaviors from their teachers and often parents, who assume the child is simply spoiled, lazy, dumb or useless and the child has to hear a lot of those comments from a very early age. These people think they’re “disciplining” bad behavior and giving the kid a lesson but all they do is destroy the kid’s confidence.
Treatment on the other hand involves working with therapists and professionals who can help an autistic child better adjust to their condition and function with it. Not all cases are the same. Some autistic people have zero communication abilities while others experience difficulties but are not completely unable to communicate. Milder cases may appear as simply shy or awkward people but from their perspective they’re struggling and this causes a lot of anxiety. It’s not universal but for many cases there is room for improvement for an autistic person’s communication skills and anxiety management and this helps them immensely in adulthood and their professional lives.
Of course autism cannot be cured outright, but a supporting environment in an autistic child’s formative years is essential.
I was diagnosed at 28 after my panic attacks were so severe I finally sought help. (I hyperventilate, eventually can’t take in new air because I can’t breathe out, my limbs go numb from oxygen deprivation, and I do a fair impression of a fish on land until i fully pass out or get myself under control).
For me, my diagnosis meant being able to identify and understand my overload triggers (to even know to look for that!).
Once I realized my panic attack were triggered by over visual stimulation, I found some things to help.
Sun glasses in the grocery store. Park in the roughly same place so when you feel panicky and have to leave you can find your car (if the 1 aisle is too full to park I shop another day).
I’m now 41. I’ve found ways to reduce my triggers to the point of almost never having public panic attacks again. I don’t think I could have without my (pretty late) diagnosis.
I’m not autistic, but I do have ADHD, and there is a bit of symptom overlap. So not quite the same. Still, when you’re neurodivergent, it helps MASSIVELY to know that that’s what’s going on.
You can’t learn coping skills for issues you don’t even know you have. Executive dysfunction (difficulty starting or switching tasks) is a huge issue for both ADHD and autistic people, and knowing that we have that and aren’t just “being lazy” can help us create new coping skills so we can still get stuff done.
There’s also the relief of knowing that other people have the same symptoms that you have. That you aren’t uniquely broken. That yes, life is harder for you than it is for most other people, but it’s harder in specific ways that you can learn to manage.
The most simplified way I can put it is this:
Imagine you are playing a video game, but you keep failing, struggling or doing things wrong while others seem to have a really, really easy time with that game.
One day, somebody helps you figure out what is different about your game.
It turns out all of your controls are inversed, all the buttons are also glitchy and the cable to the gamepad is a bit damaged. Yes you put some tape over it ages ago but it still messes with how you play the game.
Also, huh, turns out your game is set to Hard Mode and others have it on Medium or Easy.
You can’t switch out your controller or ask for a new game, everybody gets one, that’s it.
But you now have an easier time understanding why things happen the way they do, when they do, and you at least have a better idea of how the controls work.
This lets you develop strategies that work for you, it lets you know how to hold the controller so the cord doesn’t mess with you as much and that maybe that right-stick drifts a bit more than you thought.
Somebody could even help you find even better game guides or help you learn to use that glitchy controller even better.
You’ll never get to game on Easy Mode, but maybe, with enough digging into the code, you can set the game to Challenge, or even Normal, instead of Hard. You’ll still have the controller messing with you, but you now sorta know how to deal with it, even if it is still the exact same gamepad you started with.
Now.
Would you like to know this when you’re 8? Or 28?
How would your experiences through the game differ?
Because you only get one of those, and you keep playing it throughout life.
This is not to say that others can’t also have glitchy controllers, some could even have controllers way worse than yours, but they have learned to hide that fact when gaming together, it just takes a lot of extra energy.
Meanwhile, others might have a small bug, or a sticky L-trigger etc. Something that makes some aspect of the game harder, just not everything all at once without knowing what’s wrong.
Knowing what’s different about your game and your gamepad makes it easier for you to play the game, to the point where you can at least get closer to having the same terms as others around you.
I’m not autistic, but I do have ADHD, and there is a bit of symptom overlap. So not quite the same. Still, when you’re neurodivergent, it helps MASSIVELY to know that that’s what’s going on.
You can’t learn coping skills for issues you don’t even know you have. Executive dysfunction (difficulty starting or switching tasks) is a huge issue for both ADHD and autistic people, and knowing that we have that and aren’t just “being lazy” can help us create new coping skills so we can still get stuff done.
There’s also the relief of knowing that other people have the same symptoms that you have. That you aren’t uniquely broken. That yes, life is harder for you than it is for most other people, but it’s harder in specific ways that you can learn to manage.
The most simplified way I can put it is this:
Imagine you are playing a video game, but you keep failing, struggling or doing things wrong while others seem to have a really, really easy time with that game.
One day, somebody helps you figure out what is different about your game.
It turns out all of your controls are inversed, all the buttons are also glitchy and the cable to the gamepad is a bit damaged. Yes you put some tape over it ages ago but it still messes with how you play the game.
Also, huh, turns out your game is set to Hard Mode and others have it on Medium or Easy.
You can’t switch out your controller or ask for a new game, everybody gets one, that’s it.
But you now have an easier time understanding why things happen the way they do, when they do, and you at least have a better idea of how the controls work.
This lets you develop strategies that work for you, it lets you know how to hold the controller so the cord doesn’t mess with you as much and that maybe that right-stick drifts a bit more than you thought.
Somebody could even help you find even better game guides or help you learn to use that glitchy controller even better.
You’ll never get to game on Easy Mode, but maybe, with enough digging into the code, you can set the game to Challenge, or even Normal, instead of Hard. You’ll still have the controller messing with you, but you now sorta know how to deal with it, even if it is still the exact same gamepad you started with.
Now.
Would you like to know this when you’re 8? Or 28?
How would your experiences through the game differ?
Because you only get one of those, and you keep playing it throughout life.
This is not to say that others can’t also have glitchy controllers, some could even have controllers way worse than yours, but they have learned to hide that fact when gaming together, it just takes a lot of extra energy.
Meanwhile, others might have a small bug, or a sticky L-trigger etc. Something that makes some aspect of the game harder, just not everything all at once without knowing what’s wrong.
Knowing what’s different about your game and your gamepad makes it easier for you to play the game, to the point where you can at least get closer to having the same terms as others around you.
When I returned home from living abroad a few years ago, I stayed rent free with a good friend and his family. I acted as chauffeur to their kids, taking them to school, sport practice, etc. The middle daughter was always super tired, would get sick from being so tired, and there was no apparent reason. A year or so later, she was diagnosed with autism
Turns out the reason she was so tired was because she was constantly adapting her behaviour to fit in with her peers. She “wasn’t quite like them”, but could work out their actions and cues, and made herself look like them. This was incredibly hard work, hence the constant fatigue and associated illness. Once she realised she didn’t need to pretend, her mental workload dropped dramatically, and her health improved.
So, she wasn’t being treated, as such, but she was working a whole lot less.
Autism is a way of living. I can give an analogy of what happens when you aren’t given support as a highly masking autistic person.
As someone diagnosed in their late 20s, it’s like being born with all your joints angled outwards by 15 degrees. You naturally walk different, you naturally hold your pencil different, you naturally sleep and stretch in different positions, your joints and muscles hurt and injure easily, and activities that other kids might enjoy, like catching a ball, might hurt your fingers easier, except you’re a kid and you don’t know how to communicate that everything hurts all the time when you try to fit in and act like the other kids. You communicate in different ways than normal and no one is trained in how you communicate, so frustration, overwhelm, and pain can lead to meltdowns which is good for no one. You get admonished for things that seem natural to you for no reason and learn to bury/suffer the pain internally.
As you age up, fitting in is important, so a lot of mental energy goes into monitoring your body all the time – are my legs turned inward, are my feet in the right position, am I holding my pencil right. That’s a lot of mental and physical energy that should be spent with the world around you, and that’s a lot of pain you’re forcing yourself to suffer through, because everyone else seems to suffer through it. This causes long term internal damage – mental, emotional, and physical. And no one tells you that your joints are rotated out by 15 degrees – you think this is how everyone is, and you’re pathetic/weak/wrong/different for struggling.
You also lose out on learning about how *your* body works. When you should be given support to learn things like: the best way for *you* to walk and sleep and exercise and run; when you’ve been hurt or injured; when to take a break; how to soothe sore muscles and joints which might be sore from just going to the store; how to prevent injuries and pain in the long run; how to safely exercise and stretch; what supportive tools might help you; how to cope when you might need to turn your joints inwards for a short period of time (let’s say you love to play the piano) – you’re just constantly invisibly inflicting pain and damage on yourself.
And if the people around you don’t understand? You’re going to get yelled at for walking weird, running slow, for having worse hand writing than your peers, etc. That’s not healthy either when other people don’t accept and understand you, and it hurts when you’re already in pain. That’s why masking in autistic people leads to suicide ideation and aggravation of mental illness/poorer mental health.
Support from the start can help you cope with the world around you by finding the right tools that are designed to teach you the skills you need, to live a happy life free of distress, in a way that works for you. Being taught “one foot in front of the other” doesn’t work if your legs and feet are angled outwards.
When I returned home from living abroad a few years ago, I stayed rent free with a good friend and his family. I acted as chauffeur to their kids, taking them to school, sport practice, etc. The middle daughter was always super tired, would get sick from being so tired, and there was no apparent reason. A year or so later, she was diagnosed with autism
Turns out the reason she was so tired was because she was constantly adapting her behaviour to fit in with her peers. She “wasn’t quite like them”, but could work out their actions and cues, and made herself look like them. This was incredibly hard work, hence the constant fatigue and associated illness. Once she realised she didn’t need to pretend, her mental workload dropped dramatically, and her health improved.
So, she wasn’t being treated, as such, but she was working a whole lot less.
Autism is a way of living. I can give an analogy of what happens when you aren’t given support as a highly masking autistic person.
As someone diagnosed in their late 20s, it’s like being born with all your joints angled outwards by 15 degrees. You naturally walk different, you naturally hold your pencil different, you naturally sleep and stretch in different positions, your joints and muscles hurt and injure easily, and activities that other kids might enjoy, like catching a ball, might hurt your fingers easier, except you’re a kid and you don’t know how to communicate that everything hurts all the time when you try to fit in and act like the other kids. You communicate in different ways than normal and no one is trained in how you communicate, so frustration, overwhelm, and pain can lead to meltdowns which is good for no one. You get admonished for things that seem natural to you for no reason and learn to bury/suffer the pain internally.
As you age up, fitting in is important, so a lot of mental energy goes into monitoring your body all the time – are my legs turned inward, are my feet in the right position, am I holding my pencil right. That’s a lot of mental and physical energy that should be spent with the world around you, and that’s a lot of pain you’re forcing yourself to suffer through, because everyone else seems to suffer through it. This causes long term internal damage – mental, emotional, and physical. And no one tells you that your joints are rotated out by 15 degrees – you think this is how everyone is, and you’re pathetic/weak/wrong/different for struggling.
You also lose out on learning about how *your* body works. When you should be given support to learn things like: the best way for *you* to walk and sleep and exercise and run; when you’ve been hurt or injured; when to take a break; how to soothe sore muscles and joints which might be sore from just going to the store; how to prevent injuries and pain in the long run; how to safely exercise and stretch; what supportive tools might help you; how to cope when you might need to turn your joints inwards for a short period of time (let’s say you love to play the piano) – you’re just constantly invisibly inflicting pain and damage on yourself.
And if the people around you don’t understand? You’re going to get yelled at for walking weird, running slow, for having worse hand writing than your peers, etc. That’s not healthy either when other people don’t accept and understand you, and it hurts when you’re already in pain. That’s why masking in autistic people leads to suicide ideation and aggravation of mental illness/poorer mental health.
Support from the start can help you cope with the world around you by finding the right tools that are designed to teach you the skills you need, to live a happy life free of distress, in a way that works for you. Being taught “one foot in front of the other” doesn’t work if your legs and feet are angled outwards.
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