Therapy is a tool *we* use. So I tell my therapist what I’m struggling with and what I want to change. She helps me figure out what makes most sense for me to work on first, and she gives me exercises or strategies (or both) I can use to try to make the progress I’m trying to make.
One of the most helpful things I learned in therapy was that I’m responsible for my choices – in relationships, at work, etc. When I’m being 100% responsible for me, I don’t struggle with resentment, for example. I get to feel more competent and therefore more confident. I don’t have anxiety that others “won’t come through,” anymore. And that *wasn’t* what I went for, lol. It was super important to figure that out before I could address the other stuff I wanted to change. I went in wanting everyone else to change, and therapy can’t do that.
Tl;dr: The most important work happens between sessions.
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