I read a post somewhere where OP was saying how they had experienced severe bullying as a child and as they progressed with therapy as an adult, their sexual kinks (all revolving around humiliation, degradation and the like) were starting to disappear, and they no longer felt turned on by the subject as they worked through their traumas in therapy.
That got me thinking… I know it’s a defense mechanism to turn pain into an idea of pleasure, but on the surface it just seems so illogical that the mind gets programmed to seek out what has harmed it in the past. Can anyone explain to me how that works/what’s the point of it?
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I had something like this, a non-consent fantasy (towards myself) from childhood SA. But then after therapy the kink went away.
A lot of people are saying it has something to do with regaining control but I think that’s only part of the whole truth.
For me I think it was that I hadn’t processed the trauma, so I kept repeating it. Kind of like PTSD where your brain gives you mental flashbacks, but if you process the trauma the flashbacks go away or reduce. But for trauma-based kinks, the “flashbacks” manifest as a physical sensation of arousal mixed with other trauma emotions (like anger/sadness/shame etc).
Some people act out these kinks with safe partners and that’s how they process that trauma and regain the feeling of control. Some people process it by going to therapy and also regain control.
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