How/why does the mind cope with trauma by eroticizing it and developing kinks around the subject?

510 viewsOther

I read a post somewhere where OP was saying how they had experienced severe bullying as a child and as they progressed with therapy as an adult, their sexual kinks (all revolving around humiliation, degradation and the like) were starting to disappear, and they no longer felt turned on by the subject as they worked through their traumas in therapy.

That got me thinking… I know it’s a defense mechanism to turn pain into an idea of pleasure, but on the surface it just seems so illogical that the mind gets programmed to seek out what has harmed it in the past. Can anyone explain to me how that works/what’s the point of it?

In: Other

17 Answers

Anonymous 0 Comments

Sadistic fantasies/kinks can be a way of channelling suppressed anger in a safe way. It wasn’t safe to express anger at the time the trauma occurred, so it got suppressed. Watching, say, S&M porn is much safer and the anger can be channelled that way. Trouble is the sexual fantasies don’t allow the anger to be properly connected to and fully processed, it operates more as a pressure cooker valve. When therapy can get to the route of the anger, and to whom the anger was originally directed, then healing can start and the fantasies stop having a purpose.

You are viewing 1 out of 17 answers, click here to view all answers.