I read a post somewhere where OP was saying how they had experienced severe bullying as a child and as they progressed with therapy as an adult, their sexual kinks (all revolving around humiliation, degradation and the like) were starting to disappear, and they no longer felt turned on by the subject as they worked through their traumas in therapy.
That got me thinking… I know it’s a defense mechanism to turn pain into an idea of pleasure, but on the surface it just seems so illogical that the mind gets programmed to seek out what has harmed it in the past. Can anyone explain to me how that works/what’s the point of it?
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People say it’s about control, but in my experience it’s about familiarity. People are likely to develop sexual attractions around things they are familiar with, this doesn’t just apply to sexual attraction but attraction in general. That’s why some people like to date others that remind them of their parents.
If a traumatizing event, or series of traumatizing events is what your brain is familiar with (consciously or unconsciously) then oftentimes you will find yourself having a sexual attraction based around those events.
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