How would you explain what borderline personality disorder is to someone who doesn’t have it?
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My wife has bpd we’ve been together for 7yrs. I can say you need very thick skin to be with someone that has it and you have to be able not take things literally. She’s said some of the worst most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me but they were all said while she was having an episode so I know she didn’t mean it. People with bpd are unable to control there anger and rage. They can be very mean. When the episode is over though they are super apologetic and embarrassed. They will then say that they are the worst person in the world and that you should leave them. You don’t deserve this. They deserve to be miserable and alone. Self harm is also a huge issue. It’s not like how some people do it to get attention. They usually don’t. They self harm because it’s a release to them it let’s them know they are still alive. Since allot of the time they are just numb and feel nothing. My wife has a problem with this. She has tons of scars on her legs from her calves to her thighs. She stopped cutting when I really got on her about it so now she burns herself with cigarette butts in inconspicuous areas. Allot of bpd people are sex addicts my wife included mostly just for the feeling of being wanted. It’s extremely difficult to be married to or in a longterm relationship with a bpd person as they almost never last. I can attribute allot of why we have been together so long at the fact that I decided to educate myself on bpd and being in a relationship with a bpd person. Once I knew I wanted to stay with her I read everything thing I could. One of the biggest thing when being friends or in a relationship with a bpd person is setting boundaries as they can be the most manipulative people you could ever know. Even setting boundaries is tricky though. Like you tell them from now on when you do A to make me feel bad for you. im not going to play into it anymore. I’m just going to leave. You have to explain though each time that just because I’m leaving it does not mean that I don’t love/like you. Or that I’m not coming back because I will. It just means that I will not tolerate this behavior. I have to tell my wife everyday multiple times a day that I love her and I want to be with her and I won’t leave her. The worst part is there isn’t really any medication for bpd and it’s usually permanent. There are allot of therapies that can help keep it in remission. Having our daughter actually helped my wife allot. It gave her a purpose and to have someone that lives you unconditionally no matter what your flaws are helped her to.
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