How would you explain what borderline personality disorder is to someone who doesn’t have it?
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Having borderline is waking up everyday and not knowing who you’re going be or how you’re going to feel. It’s feeling emotions at the most extreme end of the spectrum or not feeling at all. It’s loving someone so much you’d rather die than be without them… yet if you feel they’re going to leave you you do everything you can to push them away first and then beat yourself up mentally for doing so. It’s having impulses that are so strong they override rational thinking and burst through your skin regardless if you wanted to do it or not. It’s constantly fearing everyone you know and love will eventually leave you all alone. It’s broken glass and bloody knuckles.. it’s living everyday teetering on the edge waiting for the tiniest thing to send you spiraling.
Edit: I just want to add that as a borderline it seems to me that a lot of people tend to think we act the way we do on purpose or out of malice. I honestly cannot speak for every borderline, just myself, and idk if it’s bc I’ve lived with this for so long (I’m 32) or if it’s just my particular flavor of bpd.. but for the most part I do my absolute best to not take my symptoms out on other people.
I’m in therapy and on medication and actively, daily, use coping mechanisms to control my anger and impulses. I still have a hard time trusting anyone, even those closest to me. I struggle with thinking everyone is lying or is harboring ill will towards me and i still require reassurance from my inner circle that they aren’t going anywhere and they understand and know I’m working on better myself and my mental health. I still have rage outbursts but have found healthy ways to express that rage. I’m not manipulative, I do not lack empathy (quite the opposite actually), and I’m hyper aware of how I treat others, and I’ve become aware of when I’m using black and white thinking and try to correct it. Not every borderline is the same, it’s a complex disorder and I urge you to not put us all in a box due to a bad experience with a less self aware borderline.
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