Yes, you will [short](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Short_circuit) the battery. Basically, the battery and that nose ring are going to start to heat up, and with a 9v battery (which is what is in the image, not a D cell) it will be a fairly quick process.
That person isn’t about to get shocked. If they don’t react quickly enough, they’re about to get burnt *inside and around their piercing.*
If you make a short circuit from one end of the battery to the other, it will discharge the battery at it’s maximum current. Your insta link doesn’t work, so it’s impossible to determine if the correctness from it’s meme. Many insta-memes are baloney, but it is possible to short circuit a D battery, so don’t do that.
Yes. All batteries will discharge uncontrolled current when the terminals are bridged with a highly conductive material.
Cylindrical batteries with terminals on opposite ends (aa, c, d, etc) are less likely to be accidently shorted during normal handling. 9v batteries with terminals on the same side are easily shorted, especially when they are dropped into a pants pocket with loose change or a key ring.
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