I never really understood the whole ordeal with social anxiety and I am kinda ignorant when it comes to what it involves how does it shut people down . I understand when someone is shy they just need to warm up to come out of there shell where I’ve heard that social anxiety is not the same
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Not everyone is a social butterfly. Society is a hierarchy and some ppl have negative social experiences and resign themselves to a negative social experience vs fighting to climb the social ladder. Others are forced there due to malicious ppl in social situations. In any hierarchy there will be winners and losers. Some learn in school that they are not default “popular” and instead of finding a smaller social group to belong to, they isolate and become further and further distant from the social sphere. Incel’s are a small microcosm of “socially anxious” ppl. Any way, we are social creatures and it’s not normal to never like social situations at all.
My brother in law was a band member in school and a certifiable genius (a Rhodes Scholar level intelligence). He never quite fit in due to being skipped a grade compounding w his natural lower place on the social hierarchy. He quit band early and only played his instrument at home, learning online. He never overcame this and isolated. Always. College was a pain for him but he got through his masters degree in 4.5 years. He attempted to “come out of his shell” doing play by play for an Esports event where he was savaged by commenters. That was eight years ago. Now he works from his apt, has groceries delivered to him, is morbidly obese, and comes out of his apt sporadically. He only has online friends and none irl. He doesn’t meet any of his online friends. Ever.
My wife had much the same upbringing and intelligence/band experience. She found a small group of friends through band and in class and hungout w them throughout school. She made new friends in college and, while also never popular, she has grown each year I have known her and is an avg social human these days, looking fwd to social experiences instead of dreading them. Some ppl allow defeat to defeat them. Others take it as a challenge and overcome. The ones whom don’t take up the challenge and stop trying tend to gravitate towards social anxiety and social repression.
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