Here’s something that helped it click for me.
“Estar” comes from the Latin word “stare”, which is where the words “state” and “status” come from in English (and also the word “estado” in Spanish). So you use “estar” to describe somebody being in a particular state or status — like a state of joy, a state of disrepair, an animated state, etc. The nature of different states / statuses is that they are temporary, they can change.
“Ser” comes from the Latin word “esse” which is related to the English word “essence”. These are things that do not change.
So use “estoy” to describe your state — *estoy feliz* (I am happy), *estoy cansado* (I am tired), *la ropa esta sucia* (the clothes are dirty). Use “ser” to describe things that are the essence of something (and not a temporary state) — *soy alto* (I am tall), *el es un extraterrestre* (he is an extraterrestrial)*, la ropa es demasiado grande* (the clothing is too large).
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