the distinction between being in love with the idea of someone vs being actually in love with them
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It is a spectrum.
On one extreme is the person who only sees what they want to see and believe in someone else and “falling in love” with that ideal. So they’re in love with their idea of the person that is very divorced from reality.
More philosophically though this is unavoidable. We as human beings can only interact with the world through our perception. And we perceive through our sensory organs and this MUST be processed by our brains. So we can never really truly say we know “reality” – all our “reality” is created/processed by our biology and our brains.
Bottom line we can be better or more observant and more critical and get closer to understanding the reality of someone else but there is essentially no such thing as perfectly being in love with “someone”. That “someone” is always biased by our processing.
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