What exactly are pre nups and why are they always shown to be a point of contention on couples?


What exactly are pre nups and why are they always shown to be a point of contention on couples?

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Prenuptial agreements are contracts couples sign before they get married. They specify how assets are to be divided in the event of a divorce. They are usually setup so that if you marry someone they can’t just wait a year or so then divorce you and get half of your entire estate. They are protection against “gold diggers”.

Pre-nup stands for pre-nuptial agreement, which is an agreement/contract signed before marriage. Most often, they are used to pre-define how assets will be split in event of a divorce. This can be very important in situations where the two partners have very different personal situations prior to marriage, or if one partner is expected to give up a career to become a dedicated stay-at-home parent or carer.

Obviously, if one partner is looking at the marriage as a lifelong bond between two soulmates, a legal document all about “what if we split up?” is a big turn off and can trigger arguments about what each partner is looking for in the marriage.

Pre-Nup, or a Pre-Nuptial is a contract between the bride and groom that dictates what happens in the event of a divorce. It outlays who will be responsible for what and how much they will receive. It also can lay out conditions that may trigger a divorce though I don’t know how much weight those have. It preempts divorce court proceedings where the judge determines who gets what and why.

They’re a contentious bit because in some cases they can be seen as insulting and lack of trust. They’re more routine at higher income levels because the amount of assets needed and the more routine access of lawyers makes it a formality.

Its a legal agreement that covers ahead of time what will be done with the money/assets that each brought to the marriage, and with any money/assets that are obtained during the marriage (which normally would be split equally between them).

e.g. if one partner has a family fortune, a pre-nup would potentially limit how much of that the other could have access to in the case of a split.

Problem is, some people see pre-nups as an indictment of their fidelity. “What, don’t you TRUST ME?” type of thing. Or in some ways a “planning for failure”. I see them more as insurance. You hope that you’ll never have an accident, but insurance is for when accidents happen. Same thing: you hope that you’ll never need a pre-nup, but the prenup will prevent confusion, anger and frustration (over money and assets) in the case of a break-up.. a time when you’re already gonna be confused, angry and frustration.

edit: if you feel strongly in having a pre-nup and your potential spouse doesn’t, this might be a flag you want to look into.

Here’s a basic problem – You have many couples where one partner is the “earner” and the other is the “non-earner”. If for whatever reason the couple divorces in 15 years the “earner” could potentially claim all the money, all the property, all the stuff because they “earned” it. The “non-earner” could essentially be left with absolutely nothing, like literally they are now homeless with the clothes on their backs. So over the years laws have been made that protect the “non-earner” and entitle them to a share of the money, property, stuff, etc. Typically it’s 50/50.

Now for certain people, let’s say the “earner” is super rich before they get married. They have a big career or family money or whatever and the “non-earner” is totally broke. They get married and it goes poorly and they get divorced within a year, now the “non-earner” is entitled to 50% of the “earners” pre-marriage wealth. Is that fair?

A “pre-nup” or Pre-nuptial (marriage) Agreement is a contract the stipulates *before marriage* how the wealth of the couple will be divided up should they divorce. It could say things like everyone keeps what they had before and split 50/50 whatever was earned during marriage, it could be very specific and detail all kinds of if/thans like if the divorce is due to cheating, if there are kids, if crimes are involved, if the couple splits before or after a certain duration. etc.

**A pre-nup is a contract that creates protections for “earners” against “non-earners” in the case a marriage fails, specifically in cases where the one partner generates or has a much greater wealth than the other.**

It’s a point of contention because the whole point of having one raises the taboo that a marriage has a risk of failure, that partners are not trustworthy, and that people are only interested in money.