From me, a cocktail bartender.
Shake: when you have juice, cream, or eggs
Stir: when you do not
The shaking breaks down the organic compounds in the materials, incorporating them with the alcohol. Think of it like cooking. The force of shaking acts like heat. It also aerates the drink.
Stir all cocktails that do not have any of the above. You don’t want aeration, just chilling and dilution.
James Bond specifies a shaken Martini because the bartender would normally stir it.
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