What is “codependency” or a “codependent relationship” and how is it different or unhealthier than normal human relations where we depend on each other to survive?
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I understand it to mean a dependence on one another in order to maintain unhealthy patterns that serve each of them for the time being. You know how some people get to be like 600 lbs, and are housebound, and you have to wonder who is going out and buying, preparing, and serving them enough food to maintain such an unhealthy weight, rather than setting healthy limits and doing what is best for their loved one? Those people are co-dependent. Each relies on the other to behave in a way that is unhealthy because it protects them in some ways. The 600-lb person continues to be fed all they want. The caregiver gets a sense of importance or being needed, perhaps being the only one who “understands” their loved one. Maybe they escape abusive behavior etc by complying. More likely, there’s an unspoken agreement that also feeds the caregiver’s unhealthy needs: I’ll give you all the food you want, as long as you don’t mention my internet shopping addiction.
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