What is major depressive disorder?
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Have you ever just been watching the water going down the sink and forget what else your doing? My Dad would shout, “hey stop wasting my water and time! Get out here!” I really thought that whirlpool cool. I’m like Grandma old now, and I’ll still watch it sometimes since it’s now MY water no one can yell.
MDD is like falling into that whirlpool you’re watching, not realizing you fell in, and getting stuck there. Now I know there’s a whole bathroom around me with a wonderful shower with lots of nozzles, the walls are my favorite colors, I got fluffy towels, a beautiful view out the window, and even a door I could use to get out. But what I can see, feel, hear is just that little bit of space that’s
inside that swirl of water going into the drain. My walls are made of tough feelings,mostly about me. and not good thoughts, mostly about me, instead of water, but you get the idea.
MDD also means you get stuck in the little
whirlpool for a very long time. So long that you forget or no longer believe the rest of the room is there. Real things you can see in the bathroom with the sink aren’t real to me, and my big ‘problem’ things don’t seem like a big deal to you. I say, “why can’t you else see the water walls are going to suck us away?” And you say, “You can just walk out the door and not look at the whirlpool.” Then I say, “What the heck are you talking about, there’s no door in the water? “
Now I feel extra lonely cuz my friends can’t help, and that makes it even sadder for me in my little world
My MDD reoccurs, so I keep falling in the sink water! Sometimes I fall because of things that would hurt anyone’s heart, like missing someone I love who’s not around anymore. Other times I can’t tell you what happened, but I’m back in the water! The good news, my five year old friend, there are things that help people like me.
Meds help me stay higher in the water when I happen to end up there, like a floaty in a pool. It’s dangerous to be that far down in the water sinking. By keeping me higher my meds let me do all the important things everyone needs to do when in danger. I can still breathe, see what’s around, hear who’s there, not panic, and call for help.
Therapy, talking to a person about my thoughts and feels, helps me see when I’m getting into the bowl and getting close to that danger spot. Then I can avoid it! I mean wants to get stuck in a sink, right?
I also learned ways from my doctor to get out fast. My first get-out-early trick is Distraction, make a phone call or google something weird but fun (come on we all take our phones to the bathroom). My next is to Use my Five Senses to know what’s really around me; I get in the shower feel the water hitting my skin, taste the spray of water, hear the drops hitting the walls And my last choice,for some stupid reason I don’t know, is get up and go somewhere else. I hit the door and get to a place where that neat but dangerous for me water whirlpool isn’t. Kinda feels like that should be first, right?
Kiddo I hope that makes sense, but if look at other responses for more help. That’s the way to make most problems better, ask for help when you need it and don’t feel bad for asking.
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