A diary is just a book that someone writes for themselves and usually not something written with the intent of publication (even if it does get published later).
A memoir is a subcategory of autobiography. An autobiography is the story of their life, a memoir is when it only covers specific time periods or certain events. For example a book that only covers childhood and makes no mention of their adult years would probably be considered a memoir.
They’re used fairly interchangeable because defining an exact boundary for when it covers too much to be considered a memoir isn’t really useful to anyone.
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