What is the psychology behind not wanting to perform a task after someone tells you to do it, even if you were going to do it anyways?
In: Other
Oppositional defiance disorder is the hard end of this spectrum.
Persistent drive for autonomy is the other end.
Often found with neurodivergent people.
Part of it comes from people “being observed”, with the commenting on another’s actions taking them out of the action.
I don’t know a lot about the psychology of this – others in the thread seem to have that covered – but in my field (game design) it’s understood that people respond differently to intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, and that the difference can sometimes be perverse. When a game gives you the ability to do something like climb a mountain or mess around with crazy physics objects, the player can come up with their own goals and be very motivated to accomplish them. If the game offers extrinsic rewards (like points or achievements) for doing these same things, some players suddenly become less motivated to do them. I can’t explain exactly why motivation works this way, but I know it’s something that has to be taken into account when designing games.
-pigeons keep getting into the roof rafters
-for weeks mum asks dad to put up chicken wire on the holes
-dad procrastinates
-cue one sunny Saturday morning
-dad wakes up full of motivation to finally get this job done
-mum “it’s the perfect day will you finally put up chicken wire on the holes”
-no force of god or nature could make dad put up chicken wire that day
Some people feel that their authonomy and control are being taken and a way to reclaim it is to simply rebel and refuse to do the task. They have probably had these experiences and it triggers past unpleasant or traumatic experiences. These are the people who might deeply, on a non verbal level, believe that others can control them. They cant.
What if you were going to have some fun time with your partner. And your partner tells you to do what you were gonna do anyway. How eould you feel? Just food for thought.
There are some great answers here, but I’d say that the overarching psychological term is “crowding out” (turning intrinsic motivation to extrinsic motivation) and it’s a well known phenomenon in motivational theory. It’s when you push outer incentives (money, praise, punishment, etc.) on tasks that are intrinsically motivating (tasks you want to do). Sometimes it’s done in good faith, but it has quite negative consequences anyway. A famous example is paying money for blood donations might mean a decrease in blood donations, because suddenly it’s a transaction (blood for money – extrinsic) instead of something people do because it’s the right thing. Same task, but now you just get paid! Same mechanism is in play in your question, with outer incentives affecting the inner motivation for the task. Reactance would be an example of this, but also something benign as you wanting to surprise your friend with a nice cup of coffee, and they say “can you bring me a coffee?” might have that effect.
Whats it called when someone in charge sees someone going to do a task then asks that person to do that task so they feel like the task is getting done because of their request.
Pathological demand avoidance, I have a nervous system that behaves like this
It stems from feeling like we are losing our autonomy. For me it happens because all through my life I lost my autonomy because my parents were severely abusive. I am audhd and need autonomy to meet my needs.
When given a demand my nervous system goes into fight/flight because being demanded is a threat to my autonomy.
In response to other comments: real pathological demand avoidance is not performance or anxiety based, nor is it because growing up I had better results going against what I was told (I was an obedient bitch).
If it’s someone who I don’t like or respect tells me to do something I was already planning on doing in such a way that they imply it would never get done otherwise, I’m gonna bear some resentment towards that person. I don’t need that shit in my life. It’s all to do with bad people management, being singled out and how the order is phrased. Also partly being told how to do your job.
Latest Answers