What is toxic positivity and what are some examples of it?
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Adding a little active positivity to one’s life can be emotionally uplifting. Notice the nice things, write down what you’ve been grateful for that day, savor a sensation with full attention.
With not-terribly-meaningful situations it can also be helpful to see the good *and* bad. As a form of mental exercise how to handle changes/disappointments.
In difficult situations getting to a point where people feel there’s also *some* good coming from the mess is one possible sign of healing. But it’s neither required nor can be forced.
Which is where “toxic positivity” comes into play. “If you’re still feeling bad about something, you’re just not thinking good enough thoughts”
a) It’s not humanly possible nor desirable to be HAPPY all the time. Trying to get there anyways and dismissing all states of not-HAPPY as “wrong” will get stressful very quickly.
b) Other people can’t be forced to be happy. But it’s much more soothing to onlookers if the person in a difficult situation is positive, upbeat, brave, whatever, as long as it’s not some uncomfortable emotion that could require help. Pain, grief, depression, even heartache, the toxic positive person at best doesn’t know how to react to them and wards them off with a “Just think happy thoughts and all will be well” or really actually doesn’t want any hints that negative things exist in their carefully designed, supposedly HAPPY life.
c) Shit happens. No amount of positive thinking will ward that shit off. No one is safe. Happy or not. Blaming whoever is currently stuck in the shit that they only got there because they didn’t think HAPPY enough is simply cruel. But it wards off that sense of insecurity in life for a while. Sorry, superstitions don’t work, and toxic positivity is just another one in a long line of them.
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