This is an increasingly common phrase that seeks to help people who feel insecure or have low self esteem. But I don’t understand how it applies at all. A large proportion of what we do is aligned with the societal paradigm for our own survival. What others think of us is of upmost importance because if they think of us in a certain way, it may lead them to destructive actions against us. What other people think of me is important for my very survival. Can someone help me understand this phrase in the way it’s meant to be understood? Thanks!
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They believe they are above criticism and don’t care to hear any criticism. That they don’t want to be criticized is proof that they can’t handle criticism.
They believe they are above criticism and don’t care to hear any criticism. That they don’t want to be criticized is proof that they can’t handle criticism.
They believe they are above criticism and don’t care to hear any criticism. That they don’t want to be criticized is proof that they can’t handle criticism.
The opinion of the vast majority of humanity doesn’t affect your life at all. You can’t go all DILLIGAF on everyone, just people who don’t matter.
General rule of thumb, these are the people who are allowed to have an opinion:
* The person/people you are in a romantic relationship with
* The person/people who sign your paychecks
* The person/people who pay your bills
You can provisionally decide if someone matters based on how you feel about them and if you respect their judgement, but the rando on the street or the cashier at the supermarket.. their opinion of you doesn’t matter because it won’t affect your life.
Personally, I don’t consider this philosophy optional as an adult. You cannot properly function if you’re thinking about what everyone is thinking about you. It’ll lead you to make dumb choices and prevent you from making good, hard ones.
The opinion of the vast majority of humanity doesn’t affect your life at all. You can’t go all DILLIGAF on everyone, just people who don’t matter.
General rule of thumb, these are the people who are allowed to have an opinion:
* The person/people you are in a romantic relationship with
* The person/people who sign your paychecks
* The person/people who pay your bills
You can provisionally decide if someone matters based on how you feel about them and if you respect their judgement, but the rando on the street or the cashier at the supermarket.. their opinion of you doesn’t matter because it won’t affect your life.
Personally, I don’t consider this philosophy optional as an adult. You cannot properly function if you’re thinking about what everyone is thinking about you. It’ll lead you to make dumb choices and prevent you from making good, hard ones.
The opinion of the vast majority of humanity doesn’t affect your life at all. You can’t go all DILLIGAF on everyone, just people who don’t matter.
General rule of thumb, these are the people who are allowed to have an opinion:
* The person/people you are in a romantic relationship with
* The person/people who sign your paychecks
* The person/people who pay your bills
You can provisionally decide if someone matters based on how you feel about them and if you respect their judgement, but the rando on the street or the cashier at the supermarket.. their opinion of you doesn’t matter because it won’t affect your life.
Personally, I don’t consider this philosophy optional as an adult. You cannot properly function if you’re thinking about what everyone is thinking about you. It’ll lead you to make dumb choices and prevent you from making good, hard ones.
I frame it as “if someone has an issue, feedback, or a full on problem with me and never says anything, only thinks about it, then it’s none of my business.”
I can’t fix what I don’t know about. It’s really helped with the super invasive “oh gosh everyone actually hates me/wants to fire me/thinks I’m embarrassing or annoying” thoughts that come after every social interaction.
I frame it as “if someone has an issue, feedback, or a full on problem with me and never says anything, only thinks about it, then it’s none of my business.”
I can’t fix what I don’t know about. It’s really helped with the super invasive “oh gosh everyone actually hates me/wants to fire me/thinks I’m embarrassing or annoying” thoughts that come after every social interaction.
I frame it as “if someone has an issue, feedback, or a full on problem with me and never says anything, only thinks about it, then it’s none of my business.”
I can’t fix what I don’t know about. It’s really helped with the super invasive “oh gosh everyone actually hates me/wants to fire me/thinks I’m embarrassing or annoying” thoughts that come after every social interaction.
I like to think of it as someone else’s opinion is based strictly on their perception and that is very objectively very little information. It’s also exhausting making attempts to be likeable to everyone, so just be you. If it hits, great. If not, whatever. I like the saying “one can be the sweetest peach in the world and some people just don’t like peaches”.
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