So this doesn’t really answer your specific questions, but I taught myself how to play guitar with Tabs (short for tablatures). It tells you exactly where to put your fingers and when for specific songs. It’s a great way to get the feel of the guitar and the motions/movements needed for playing without stressing you out with music theory and chords. They help you build memorization skills while being fun, because you get to play your favorite songs and see the skills they take to make happen. Sites like UltimateGuitar and Songsterr are super useful for learning tabs.
Once you get more used to the guitar and are enjoying the sounds you make, then you can study and practice more traditional chords. And *spoiler alert* you’ll find that you had been playing some chords all along, you just didn’t know that’s what they were.
P.S. I still don’t know the chords by name. But I bet I still can play them if you showed me the sound that you meant
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