The ones you get when you hold a baby and your brain is telling you to throw it, or when you’re praying and a voice tells you Jesus sucks. Why does our brain do this? Is this like the worst version of us, or is it us preventing us from doing that?
In: Other
It’s because we are upset* and don’t have a good way of dealing with it.
For better or worse, we are wired to transfer aggression to targets more vulnerable than we are. For example, a manager under pressure snaps at an employee who reports to them; the employee goes home and yells at their spouse; the spouse yells at one of the kids; the kid hits the dog; the dog bites the cat; the cat gets into a fight and loses part of an ear.
The three things that helped me the most:
1. Resolving situations where I felt powerless
2. Getting out of situations where I was being mistreated
3. Turning 35
…but I’m not sure how much that last one mattered.
(* edit: I stepped away and thought about it, and wanted to expand this a little. Upset is caused by a thwarted intention, an unmet expectation, or an undelivered communication. It is in the nature of all these things to happen, some of the time. You mentioned Jesus, so I’ll bring up the serenity prayer in case you haven’t heard it: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”)
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