Why does it take so long to fall asleep initially, but feels super easy when woken up by your alarm?
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In my experience most people don’t know how to fall asleep, or haven’t trained their body to fall asleep.
First thing you need to learn how to do is to force yourself to lie in bed, and relax. When I first start I tend to very fussy with how the blanket is positioned, making sure it feels symmetrical, the sheets are bunched up, the room is the right temperature, etc.
I’m a side sleeper but I never start out on my side. I lie on my back and I stretch out. The goal here isn’t to sleep it is to relax. If I must, I’ll stay like this for hours relaxing and resting without worrying about whether I do, or do not fall asleep. Sleep is secondary. Think of this more like meditation.
The real key that I’ve discovered is controlling your thoughts so your mind doesn’t run wild. This is easier than it sounds. I like to take a pillow and put it on top of my head. Sometimes it covers my eyes and goes to about halfway down my nose, other times just over my forehead.
When you do this you will feel a very slight amount of pressure, and if you close your eyes you can try to “look” up at the pressure point which will make your eyes roll slightly up.
When you do this you’ll start feeling a lot of muscles in your head relaxing. It adds to stretching out all your other muscles and relaxing. The goal is to relax, not sleep.
Whenever my thoughts start to wander, I just keep focusing on that single point. I look at it in the darkness with my eyes closed. I stare at it, and I keep thinking about how nice and relaxed I feel. I repeat this over and over. My mind will start to wander to something I need to do the next day, or something that happened today, and I’ll just bring it back as soon as I realize it. Staring at that point in the dark, deep breaths, fussing less and less.
If you can do that for thirty minutes or so you will likely start to feel very sleepy. All of a sudden I’ll just roll over onto my side and be asleep within minutes.
Another good tip is to have an established routine, and a set bedtime (especially during the week.) I like to take a full shower and get very clean before bed, and then I like to have a cup of tea. I don’t watch TV, or read, or use the computer during this. I’ll look out my patio and pet the cat. After the tea is cold, or gone, then I go lie down. I start this process at 10pm every night during the week unless I have some special plans, or a late commitment.
If you do this for awhile your body will get into a rhythm and you’ll start feeling sleepy right around bedtime. Your body might get so regulated that you start waking up 60-120 seconds before your alarm goes off each morning. This is probably the creepiest part. When I was younger in school I had a bad habit of sleeping through alarms, so whenever I wake up (even now) without an alarm I have a little panic attack thinking I’ll be late for work only to look at my phone and realize my alarm is going to go off in ~30 seconds.
It’s all about conditioning your body and discipline. If I wake up early before the alarm, I’ll make myself stay in bed until it goes off. If I’m not tired when its bed time I’ll make myself shower, drink the tea, and then lie in bed for as long as it takes. I don’t care if I fall asleep or not. I have those 8 hours set aside for me to recharge, and relax.
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