Why does the brain mostly remember tragic, bad or embarassing memories instead of the happy ones
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I’m assuming it’s because they made a bigger impact on the mental. Like a wound leaving a scar. But you’re not alone, I can remember every stupid thing I’ve ever done. Have to dig deep for the good ones.
So you don’t repeat them. You remember stupid shit you did way more than fine/normal/good stuff you did cause you don’t want it to happen again, if you forget, you will make the same mistake. You dislike feeling bad and embarrassed so you want to minimises doing that to yourself again.
Survival strategy, basically evolution has meant that anything that was dangerous, bad or even socially embarrassing and how the situation was dealt with is important so you can avoid a similar issue next time.
Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit. Evolutionary benefit.
This is called negativity bias. As others have pointed out it likely serves an evolutionary benefit. You can go on a hike and for 99.99% of the time, you were enjoying the good weather and views but afterwards you’ll focus on the 0.01% of the time where you almost got bit by a venomous snake and that will define the trip. It makes us more prepared for the future.
Research says that this tends to disappear as we age and we can even lean towards a positivity bias.
The brain stores memories by emotions. So if you think of a negative memory other negative memories will start to come to mind as well. Thankfully the same goes for positive memories–if you think of good times that will be linked to other times you were happy that will come to mind.
The happy ones don’t keep you from dying. They are pleasurable and nice, but your brain probably doesn’t allocate as much resource because well… you almost died that time you rolled your car whilst scrolling cat memes on the highway, and your brain doesn’t want you to go out like that
The brain remembers simply as a means to help you presently and in the future.
If you have more negative memories present then the negative ones may not have been properly framed yet.
It’s your brain saying “there’s a problem here. And I’m not quite certain what it was and how it’s solved. You need to deal with this so I can make sure we’re prepared for something similar and we can avoid catastrophe.”
Until your subconscious is settled on what happened, what it means, and what you’re going to do moving forward it won’t relax.
Because it’s job isn’t to brush things aside so you live in a state of dopamine intoxication.
It’s job is to make sure that you don’t become your friend that wandered from the campfire at night and got eaten by a lion or tiger. If it just could brush those things aside, odds are good you too would get eaten by wandering from the campfire.
If you don’t remember the happy ones currently it just means it’s not at the front of your mind. You probably have a few friends that wandered too far in your psychological history.
Deal with the negative stuff properly and you’ll have a better chance of remembering happy things at times of inaction.
Everyone is wired a little different, but I think it’s important to note that brains remember things by repeating them for one reason or another and if you’re only repeatedly thinking about the bad things, it could mean you’re dealing with anxiety and depression. If you feel like all you remember are negative memories, I’d suggest talking about it with a professional and seeing if you can’t work on solidifying those positive memories. This has nothing to do with evolutionary survival. Good memories are important for that too.
The brain has one job. To keep you alive. It isn’t your friend. It will do anything to try and keep you safe. It’s a worry machine.
It is safer for you to worry about how you talked to Phil last week because thousands of years ago if Phil didn’t like you, you may be kicked out of the group and humans living alone are much less safe.
If you cut yourself, you need to remember how not to do it again.
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