Why is it often acceptable to refer to a woman as a “girl” but calling a man a “boy” is often unacceptable?
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https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/takeaway/segments/93569-when-word-boy-and-isnt-discriminatory
In addition to either being used dismissively, “Boy” also has a potentially racist meaning.
I’m not sure where the premise is, but “me and the boys are going to the game” is a perfectly socially acceptable statement.
As a man, I always interpreted it as we have a middle ground casual terminology of “guys” and “girls,” but for whatever reasons (maybe chauvinism) we didn’t develop a distinctive acceptable term for women. Like “gal” is sometimes used but not that much.
ideally we would say “gals” or use “guys” for both genders and maybe the usage of “girls” would go down
It isn’t often acceptable to refer to a woman as a “girl” if you aren’t a woman, yourself, and even then some women aren’t all that comfortable with it.
Addressing someone you dont know with a childish term is noted to just be plain disrespectful as its seen as being patronizing with them at best and will put you in some sort of list at worse.
and this is besides the undertones of calling a man ” boy” has in some parts of the world(ie: the US, if you call a Black man that you do not know “boy”, you deserve whatever is coming to you.).
In simplest, US centric terms: because it is more socially acceptable to infantalize women in public settings versus men. But as you can see from other comments, a lot of factors play into this and it is highly dependent on context and the individual people involved in the particular situation
It’s about value. Men value being seen and regarded as capable, mature, strong, and honorable.
Women value being attractive, nurturing, adaptive, and supportive.
To call a man a boy, you degrade his status because a boy doesn’t yet embody those qualities mentioned above. Whereas to call a woman a girl, you enhance some qualities while diminishing none.
Some men don’t mind being called boy, and some women despise being called girl. Humans are very complex and the way we’re brought up, deeply influences how we view life.
Because infantilizing women is seen as a good thing: women are most “desirable” when they’re young and naive. So when women are told their whole lives that they need to look and act young to be desirable, they internalize that. On top of that, there are many instances where women don’t get work because of their age, in the entertainment industry in particular, but often into their 30’s in other industries because (and this is true) they might want to get pregnant before it’s “too late.” Add on that mean feel less threatened by “girls” and it shows why they choose that designation.
Men, on the other hand, have been told that getting older is great. More power at home and at work? Can do literally whatever they want? Of course they don’t want to be referred to as children!
I don’t think this issue even particularly exists, as it’s entirely contextual.
Some women will call their partner their ‘boy’ as much as ‘my man’. It largely depends on their relationship. Many men call their mates ‘the boys’, and many women call their mates ‘the girls’ or ‘girlfriends’.
I imagine some women like being referred to as a ‘girl’ as they get older, as it implies that they still have youthfulness, and we live in quite shallow times where everyone wants to look and feel young for as long as possible. on the other hand, some women would find it incredibly patronising.
There are definitely some men who would feel offended at being called a boy, but I imagine that’s largely related to the mentality they have developed through parental influence and socialisation.
Personally I would use what I felt to be the most appropriate term for a given context.
I think it’s the pressure of women having a “perfect age.” Like I, a 25 year old adult woman, feel weird about being called a woman or a lady when I’m out shopping. But in the office, I hate being called a “girl.” So it depends on whether I’m in a position of authority or not. But I guess I’m not being called “a female”…I’m not a lizard in a pet store.
For men, I still call my male friends “boys”. Not in a derogatory way, but it feels weird calling 25 year old dudes men. But like a middle aged man…definitely not a boy (and a middle aged woman is not a girl).
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