Why do we never use (most) contractions on their own?

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“Are you cold?”
“I’m”

“Have you showered?”
“I’ve”

“Is it raining?”
“It’s”

“Am I ugly?”
“You’re”

You get the gist. Why is it so weird to say these instead of “I am, I have, It is, You are”?

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I think it sounds wrong to us to use more than one “shortcut” in a single sentence. Contractions are a verbal shortcut, but so is leaving a word implied, such as in your first example. When you reply to “Are you cold?” with “I’m”, you’re saying “I am (cold)”. You’re using two shortcuts there.

Because all of those are yes or no questions, you can just answer yes or no.

I do like to answer “is anyone…” questions with “I’m” though. No one has actually questioned it so far surprisingly

Emphasis. While it’s easy to overlook, we constantly put emphasis on certain words in a sentence because they’re important. If someone asks you if you’re cold, the concept you’re trying to get across is yes/no. So, if not using contractions, you could either say, “I **am**” or “I am **not.**” It would be weird to say “**I** am” or “I **am** not,” because those emphasize parts of the sentence that are less relevant; the person knows that you’re who they asked, they just want to know if you’re cold or not cold.

On the other hand, if someone in a group asks “Who’s in charge here?” you could respond “**I** am.” Now, the important point is that **you**, as opposed to any other person, is in charge.

In all of the examples you list, using a contraction makes it impossible to stress the word you want to stress. In general, we only contract words that we’re not emphasizing, because they’re less important. It’s actually worth paying attention to how differently people may pronounce a word that’s being stressed/emphasized.

That said, there are a few times we might respond with a lone contraction. How come? ‘Cause.

It’s just one of those rules of English. Much like saying adjectives in the right order such as a great green Irish dragon instead of a green Irish great dragon.