Eli5 what is the difference between self-centered and narcissistic?
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Narcissistic is generally considered more extreme, but they’re both fundamentally the same thing–a person who is far more worried about their own concerns than those of anyone else.
A self centered person might not share their candy with a child. A narcissist will take candy from a child because they deserve it more. Two sides of the same coin really.
self-centered: primarily thinks of themselves when making decisions
Narcississtic: having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and/or one’s physical appearance
The self-centered person orders pizza for the group and only orders the pizza they like. The narcassist does the same things and looks at themselves in the mirror while they eat it.
[Narcissistic personality disorder is in the DSM](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556001/).
Just being self centered is like a diet version of that. It’s quite possible to be a little ignorant to those around you without meeting the criteria for the full personality disorder.
A psychiatrist would probably say that if the condition interfers with the person’s life significantly, such as: frequent work problems from negative interactions with co-workers, inability to form a lasting relationship, legal problems, chemical abuse, etc…, it would weigh heavily in the narcissist category.
Likewise, if the person’s life isn’t impacted too badly, it would fall under self-centeredness.
Self centered – selfishly thinks about themselves at all times, for good or ill.
Narcissistic – selfishly thinks about themselves at all times, and also think they are awesome.
Narcissistic personality disorder has a lot of social hallmarks. The need to be liked and have your superiority constantly affirmed through others.
A hermit living in the woods could easily be self-centered. There’s nothing about living by yourself that would keep you from spending the majority of your time considering yourself and your needs without spending much time thinking of others. An isolated person would have a much harder time dealing with narcissism and not having anyone around to support their fragile ego.
A self-centered person cares about themselves more than others, to an abnormal extent.
A narcissist has a grandiose self-image, needs constant affirmation of their greatness, and lacks empathy for others.
There is not necessarily any overlap. A narcissist can sincerely care about other people, while lacking the ability to really understand a situation from that person’s point of view. Many narcissists repeat cycles where they deeply offend those closest to them, and then work hard to make amends.
A self-centered person may not think very highly of themselves, may not need any attention from others at all, and may understand other people’s perspective just fine, but simply doesn’t much care what happens to them.
Self centered thinks the whole world revolves around them.
Narcissistic thinks themself *is* the whole world.
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