Eli5: Why is it easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled?
In: 634
People see their decisions and conclusions, rightfully or wrongfully, as direct reflections of them as people. To admit you were fooled is to admit that you failed and people are ego protecting creatures. It takes practice to admit you were wrong-headed about something. It is why it is so hard to convince people of something even if you have objectively proved your case, as it were. There is all of your reality that you are shining on them, but that is easily outweighed by the other person’s ego.
So, if you find yourself needing to convince someone of something that is opposite of what they believe, you have to use ego soothing language. The Japanese call this ‘saving face’. Give them the ability to change their minds in a way that paints them in a positive light. When you hear about people whining about those who ‘tell it like it is’, really aren’t complaining about what people say, rather that they say it without first soothing the other person’s ego. And, honestly, if you want to get along in this world you do need to learn that skill. Trust me, it has taken me years to work that out.
Eli5: Why is it easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled?
In: 634
People see their decisions and conclusions, rightfully or wrongfully, as direct reflections of them as people. To admit you were fooled is to admit that you failed and people are ego protecting creatures. It takes practice to admit you were wrong-headed about something. It is why it is so hard to convince people of something even if you have objectively proved your case, as it were. There is all of your reality that you are shining on them, but that is easily outweighed by the other person’s ego.
So, if you find yourself needing to convince someone of something that is opposite of what they believe, you have to use ego soothing language. The Japanese call this ‘saving face’. Give them the ability to change their minds in a way that paints them in a positive light. When you hear about people whining about those who ‘tell it like it is’, really aren’t complaining about what people say, rather that they say it without first soothing the other person’s ego. And, honestly, if you want to get along in this world you do need to learn that skill. Trust me, it has taken me years to work that out.
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