Eli5: Why is it easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled?
In: 634
If you fool someone, they don’t know they’re a fool.
If you explain, you’re telling them they’re a fool and forcing them to accept their foolish status.
Fooling someone usually just means that you convinced them to trust you and believe you. Super easy if you agree with what they want to hear.
Convincing someone that they were fooled involves getting them to trust you, convincing them to reject their trust of someone they already trust, convincing them that a “truth” in their mind is false, a “truth” that they might have spread and convincing them that what you are saying is actually true.
Then they are embarassed.
People see their decisions and conclusions, rightfully or wrongfully, as direct reflections of them as people. To admit you were fooled is to admit that you failed and people are ego protecting creatures. It takes practice to admit you were wrong-headed about something. It is why it is so hard to convince people of something even if you have objectively proved your case, as it were. There is all of your reality that you are shining on them, but that is easily outweighed by the other person’s ego.
So, if you find yourself needing to convince someone of something that is opposite of what they believe, you have to use ego soothing language. The Japanese call this ‘saving face’. Give them the ability to change their minds in a way that paints them in a positive light. When you hear about people whining about those who ‘tell it like it is’, really aren’t complaining about what people say, rather that they say it without first soothing the other person’s ego. And, honestly, if you want to get along in this world you do need to learn that skill. Trust me, it has taken me years to work that out.
Confirmation bias. It’s easy to make people believe stuff they kind of already thought. Case in point: vaccine safety. It’s scary to have someone inject something into your body, and it’s not unreasonable to consider it to be potentially dangerous. With that in mind, it’s very easy to convince a lot of people that they are dangerous by just making things up…their suspicions are confirmed, they feel smart for have correctly suspected something,
To admit that one has been fooled is to acknowledge that one has made an error. Whereas one can be fooled without acknowledging an error.
It doesn’t matter if you are fooled or not it is just easier to gain a new belief than to change one you already have.
Confirmation bias.
People want to believe things they are pre-disposed to believing.
A good example is getting a ‘2nd opinion’ from a doctor about a medical condition..
When you should think of it as ‘2 first opinions’ but our brains are so used to confirmation bias, we see the 2nd opinion as less valuable, or useful, in order to ‘confirm’ the 1st opinion. This is because we chose the person to give us that 1st opinion. It doesn’t make that doctor automatically right simply because we chose them.
1. We are biased towards things we think we SHOULD believe, or things the people we trust believe, or things that support our existing viewpoints – this is called “motivated reasoning”
2. We are biased towards the FIRST thing we hear about a topic, because it takes additional mental effort to disprove the first thing and re-learn the second thing than it does to learn the first thing.
[https://www.apa.org/news/apa/2020/fake-news](https://www.apa.org/news/apa/2020/fake-news)
because youre not just trying to convince them that 2+2 is not 5,
you have to convince them that they themselves are wrong for thinking that 4 ones equal 5, therefore attacking not the truth but the person themselves and their own self. .
People get fooled by stories which are made to follow narrative rules, wrap up nicely with no loose ends and are believable and satisfying. When you try to replace that with reality which doesn’t fit human narrative, is full of loose ends and makes no concessions for believability or satisfaction you’re fighting an uphill battle.
Eli5: Why is it easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled?
In: 634
If you fool someone, they don’t know they’re a fool.
If you explain, you’re telling them they’re a fool and forcing them to accept their foolish status.
Fooling someone usually just means that you convinced them to trust you and believe you. Super easy if you agree with what they want to hear.
Convincing someone that they were fooled involves getting them to trust you, convincing them to reject their trust of someone they already trust, convincing them that a “truth” in their mind is false, a “truth” that they might have spread and convincing them that what you are saying is actually true.
Then they are embarassed.
People see their decisions and conclusions, rightfully or wrongfully, as direct reflections of them as people. To admit you were fooled is to admit that you failed and people are ego protecting creatures. It takes practice to admit you were wrong-headed about something. It is why it is so hard to convince people of something even if you have objectively proved your case, as it were. There is all of your reality that you are shining on them, but that is easily outweighed by the other person’s ego.
So, if you find yourself needing to convince someone of something that is opposite of what they believe, you have to use ego soothing language. The Japanese call this ‘saving face’. Give them the ability to change their minds in a way that paints them in a positive light. When you hear about people whining about those who ‘tell it like it is’, really aren’t complaining about what people say, rather that they say it without first soothing the other person’s ego. And, honestly, if you want to get along in this world you do need to learn that skill. Trust me, it has taken me years to work that out.
Confirmation bias. It’s easy to make people believe stuff they kind of already thought. Case in point: vaccine safety. It’s scary to have someone inject something into your body, and it’s not unreasonable to consider it to be potentially dangerous. With that in mind, it’s very easy to convince a lot of people that they are dangerous by just making things up…their suspicions are confirmed, they feel smart for have correctly suspected something,
To admit that one has been fooled is to acknowledge that one has made an error. Whereas one can be fooled without acknowledging an error.
It doesn’t matter if you are fooled or not it is just easier to gain a new belief than to change one you already have.
Confirmation bias.
People want to believe things they are pre-disposed to believing.
A good example is getting a ‘2nd opinion’ from a doctor about a medical condition..
When you should think of it as ‘2 first opinions’ but our brains are so used to confirmation bias, we see the 2nd opinion as less valuable, or useful, in order to ‘confirm’ the 1st opinion. This is because we chose the person to give us that 1st opinion. It doesn’t make that doctor automatically right simply because we chose them.
1. We are biased towards things we think we SHOULD believe, or things the people we trust believe, or things that support our existing viewpoints – this is called “motivated reasoning”
2. We are biased towards the FIRST thing we hear about a topic, because it takes additional mental effort to disprove the first thing and re-learn the second thing than it does to learn the first thing.
[https://www.apa.org/news/apa/2020/fake-news](https://www.apa.org/news/apa/2020/fake-news)
because youre not just trying to convince them that 2+2 is not 5,
you have to convince them that they themselves are wrong for thinking that 4 ones equal 5, therefore attacking not the truth but the person themselves and their own self. .
People get fooled by stories which are made to follow narrative rules, wrap up nicely with no loose ends and are believable and satisfying. When you try to replace that with reality which doesn’t fit human narrative, is full of loose ends and makes no concessions for believability or satisfaction you’re fighting an uphill battle.
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