Lots of times i masturbate to fantasies or things that are actually disgusting but that I find hot if I have a boner and cause me serious remorses sometimes. I keep reading that the brain just works differently but I need a specific description of what changes and why everything is even worse post nut.
EDIT: If it can help, I’m 17.
EDIT: I was thinking maybe it’s bc I’m a very curious guy and I see my horniness as “let’s see how deep we can go today”. What do you think?
In: Biology
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Front of your brain, the logical (boring) thinking part is minding its own business when the limbic (monkey brain)system desires to hit it with a 2×4.
That feeling of disgust or ‘post nut clarity’ is your frontal waking back up after you effectively flush most of the testosterone (horni chemical) out
In a nutshell the frontal cortex, seat of logic and reason, goes to Cancun and turns its phone off. Its weird roommate the limbic system (your “Lizard Brain”) takes over and basically gets completely shitfaced, does non-stop crazy shit and totally trashes the car and the apartment. Later the frontal cortex returns from vacation to a complete disaster and Lizard Brain passed out naked in the front yard in a puddle of vomit.
EDIT: it’s ‘its’ not ‘it’s’
Arousal is a state of excitement that can be generated by fear, lust, or disgust. Once you’re in a state of (sexual) arousal these can get kind of mixed up in the brain and thinking of scenarios that stimulate a little fear or disgust heightens the feeling of arousal (thrill). Then when the arousal subsides your frontal cortex takes back over and goes, “Eeewww.”
Thinky-brain is beaten unconscious by monkey-brain in order to make feel-good before thinky-brain wakes back up, and then it does and goes “You’re disgusting.” Hence the post-monkey-clarity.
You like what you like, you will be surprised to find out your bf/gf likes a lot of weird shit as well. I was watching some porn just the other day, and my wife comes in to my office and asks me what I was watching. Really want to know? Ok…. And I put it on.
Damn….. thats actually kind of hot. I was a bit embarrassed and she noticed, saying; you really think I dont find it hot as well? Wasnt anything super weird, but a bit more than just regular porn; I dont want to be tied up like that, but Ill happily watch it with you…. And I dont actually want to tie you up like that either, its a movie, in the same way John Wick is a movie, fun to watch, in real life, not so much.
Sex is gross. We get *really* close to people and we eat their bodily fluids—saliva, sweat, genital juice. We make weird noises. We inhale strong scents.
In order to have sex, we need the ability to suppress caring about grossness. That suppression is part of the sexual arousal state.
When we are no longer sexually aroused, we are back to caring about grossness again.
Some people suppress more than an aversion to other people’s bodily fluids when they are aroused. They may suppress aversion to poop, to ambiguity, to cruelty.
Still, the knowledge that they are *supposed* to be averse to these things is still there. There may be fear without the aversion. It’s like eating very spicy food. It’s a little painful but it makes the experience more exciting.
Then the arousal state is gone and all the usual aversion is back. Most of us just roll over and go to sleep and all is good. Some people wallow in shame. That’s not good.
FWIW, you’re fantasies are your fantasies and just that. So long as you don’t put any of that into action (I’m willing to take it on faith that they’re pretty out there, I don’t need the details) you’re good and have no reason to feel remorse. Save that for actual fuckups.
If you feel ashamed of those fantasies, there’s specialized therapists who can help you work through that, either easing up on them or accepting them.
Just as interesting is why do things you usually find gross, disgusting or simply not enticing suddenly excite you when you’re horny
Whilst we are on the topic, I want to know what happens to our brain during orgasm. Does it just flood with oxytocin or something??
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