Lots of times i masturbate to fantasies or things that are actually disgusting but that I find hot if I have a boner and cause me serious remorses sometimes. I keep reading that the brain just works differently but I need a specific description of what changes and why everything is even worse post nut.
EDIT: If it can help, I’m 17.
EDIT: I was thinking maybe it’s bc I’m a very curious guy and I see my horniness as “let’s see how deep we can go today”. What do you think?
In: Biology
If you’re wacking it to some messed up stuff, chances are you’ve been wacking it too much. Doing it too often causes a tolerance to form, as your brain molds itself to expect and tolerate the dumps of dopamine, oxytocin and vasopressin. For example, remember how aroused you felt the first time you saw a beautiful nude woman or man? Literally incomprehensible levels of arousal compared to seeing one for the 5,000th time, am I right? Compare this to drug users. Every single hardcore druggie will tell you they wish they had highs like the first couple of times they did it. You’re chasing the dragon, but with masturbation instead of heroin.
Of course, in order to achieve that same level of arousal and pleasure and consistency, your brain starts to seek novelty. Thus, you may find yourself drawn to more and more extreme forms of pornography or fantasy to ‘scratch that itch’. Often, constant and unregulated masturbation and exposure to erotic content will lead to much loss in the form of natural arousal, which is where things can get really dicey.
At that point, people might seek out content they find disgusting or otherwise contrary to their rational and healthy desires, simply because it gets the blood flowing, albeit in the completely wrong way. Looking at depraved, immoral, extreme or disgusting content will cause you to have an adrenaline rush and even fear, much like how it is released when having normal sex. However, instead of the adrenaline rush coming from excitement and anticipation, it comes from disgust, fear or other negative emotions. Further, when aroused, your brain drops its guard so to speak, so a video you would have never clicked on might seem more appealing due to the novelty and the being associated with the sexual. You’re essentially tricking yourself into arousal. With repeated orgasm, it starts to actually become arousing.
This is why a lot of times people claim they find things hot simply ‘because it’s fucked up’- it’s because it causes adrenaline to flow, and their brain has started to associate it with orgasm. Talk of eroticism with such things is often just trying to rationalize or add logic to fucked up habits when there is nothing to rationalize and there is no logic. There’s also people who talk about your ‘shadow’ in terms of Jungian psychology to explain fucked up desires, but this is not useful.
People will say what they wish, but I personally believe the large majority of the objectionable and taboo kinks and fetishes people have are not baked into them, but rather grown through sex, masturbation or pornography addictions. When people tell others ‘it helps them get off’ it really seems that normal, healthy sexual interactions aren’t enough for them anymore, which is upsetting. An uncomfortable truth about people who joke about people who do ‘missionary only’ or who have vanilla sex is that some of them need heavy amounts of kinks, thought processes and fantasies and stimulation or drugs in play to reach a similar arousal to the more ‘boring’ people.
The good news is that you’re honest enough to yourself to know it’s fucked up, which means it’s not a part of you, just a part of your grown habits. Again, think back to when you first became sexual to now. Would the fantasies or content you indulge in make you retch? These habits are very likely not you at the helm, simply an out of whack sexuality and neurochemistry.
In terms of fixing it, I’d recommend abstinence and looking into resources. Luckily, a lot of the normal arousal can come back if given enough time. As time progresses, a lot of the more extreme things you indulge in will again become disgusting and unarousing, even in a state of arousal. A healthy, normal sexuality is the best and the most pleasurable sexuality. Best of luck.
Lizard Brain vs Evolved Brain. The fact you feel remorse is probably a good sign though. Some people just thralls to their lizard brains.
Frontal cortex has this toy that he refuses to share (his penis). Monky brain wants to borrow it and play with it. FC says “No!! You remember last time?”
Monkey brain decides to take it, so he knocks FC out with a 2×4 (a piece of Lumber, for the non-US in the room) and takes it.
Monkey brain goes apeshit and plays with it until it no longer works or is used up, then leaves.
FC wakes up and is wondering what happened, disgusted by Monkey Brain.
For future reference don’t share you’re a minor on questions like this. Lotta weirdos on here.
Out of interest, have you grown up in a religious/conservative home?
I did, and I remember some of those feelings as a teen, but basically, once I realized there’s nothing really to be ashamed of, and the things I had been taught about sex/masturbation being a sin or shameful were BS, that “post-nut shame” went away forever
The part of the brain that developed for reproduction is millions, if not billions, years older than our intelligent part of the brain. So when you feel horny, your thinking brain is effectively cut out of the mental loop. You’re not making decisions with the same part of the brain anymore, but with a much older, less connected, and much deeper subconscious process.
Sex can sometimes be messy and potentially gross, so your brain evolved to reduce the feelings of disgust during sexual arousal so that you have a higher chance of passing on your genes.
Depending on what your fantasies are, the misattribution of arousal could also be at play. Physiologically, some emotions have the same effects on your body, and thus your brain interprets which emotion you think you are feeling. Fear and anger for example can have a similar effect to sexual attraction and arousal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal
OP you really shouldn’t worry so much about your fantasies. I’ve noticed on Reddit lately there’s been a really really weird sexual suppression agenda being pushed a lot especially in subreddits like r/GenZ and r/teenagers. I have no idea who is responsible for it or why, but this shit is *not* normal and wasn’t around when I was using Reddit at your age. Masturbation and fetishes are a completely normal part of the human experience, there’s *nothing* wrong with it, and in fact you’d probably be very surprised just how common whatever fetishes you have are, most of the people you know and even the people you look up to have probably thought about the exact same stuff before. So long as you don’t intend to harm anyone in real life, you really have nothing to worry about.
Genitalia are often gross, fluids are gross, smells are gross. From an evolutionary perspective I imagine the humans most successful in passing along their genetic traits and having offspring, are those who maintained hygiene and reservations in their day to day lives, but abandon those same reservations when it came time to make babies. Like top comment said, I find it likely that other forms of heightened emotions just all got filled up with horny and the brain temporarily forgets everything else. As you get older some of it will get better. But some of it will get worse.
At 17 I wouldn’t be surprised if a warm breeze while wearing shorts doesn’t make you horny.
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