Basically it’s a game (usually video games, though not always) of maximizing a character in specific ways while making sacrifices in other areas.
It’s often frowned upon because toxic players have given it a bad reputation, which is unfortunate. This is especially true in D&D, where “min-maxer” has become synonymous with “murderhobo” (a character who ignores the plot and just murders NPCs).
That said, people often focus on the “max” and ignore the “min” part; people whine that min-maxed characters are overpowered, but the truth is they have weaknesses just like other characters, and often their weaknesses are greater.
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