This is an increasingly common phrase that seeks to help people who feel insecure or have low self esteem. But I don’t understand how it applies at all. A large proportion of what we do is aligned with the societal paradigm for our own survival. What others think of us is of upmost importance because if they think of us in a certain way, it may lead them to destructive actions against us. What other people think of me is important for my very survival. Can someone help me understand this phrase in the way it’s meant to be understood? Thanks!
In: 10
Think of it the other way around.
Let’s say I send a text to an old friend that says, “Hey, how’s it going?”
A few hours go by, and I start to think that I must have texted the wrong person, because my friend always responds quickly. So I check and I see it’s the right number, but that doesn’t help my worry.
Another few hours go by, and I start to think that I might have offended them somehow. So I think about our last interaction, a lot. I start to feel resigned that I won’t get a response and I wonder how my friend could be so unforgiving.
Another few hours pass, and I start to worry that maybe they’re dead. So I start to look for an obituary.
Then my friend finally texts back to say that he just got back from a camping trip, and I text back, “Great! I wanted to invite you to my BBQ next weekend.”
Everything in the quotation marks is my friend’s business. All the things I’ve thought in between is a private matter, and none of my friend’s business at all.
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