“So” typically implies a comparison, a cause, or at least a continuation of the sentence. “There were so many people…” the listener is waiting for more information. If the sentence ends there then the listener infers that there were more people than *someone* expected, or that the number of people caused something to happen that has not been disclosed yet.
“Too” implies excess and does not need more information. “There were too many people.” The listener knows that the number of people was greater than what *someone* would have liked, and that this is a negative description.
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