I 23(f) have lost two close friends in horrific circumstances over the last few years. Can anyone explain to me why bodies,
particularly faces, looks so different after death – is it because they’ve been embalmed, or is it the human brain not being able to process what they’re seeing infront of them? Apologies if this is too gruesome for this sub, i think this might be me grieving and just trying to find some way to understand why.
In: Biology
(I work in palliative care) A lot of our face muscles are well toned due to all the expressions we make. Because they are so naturally ‘buff’ we flex then a most of the time to make ‘appropriate social face’ (this is why when people are told they have ‘resting mean person face’ they can actually work to adjust it.
So when we die those muscles go slack and our expression changes into nothingness, the absence of expression.
Perhaps not your friends case, but for people who died of a disease (like cancer) there’s also sudden weight loss which causes less fat in the face and saggier skin as their body didn’t have time to adjust to the new weight.
If it was, for example, after a car accident there could be injuries to the face that make them look odd. If your friends wer embalmed (you didn’t clearly say they were but did mention it) then there’s also the embalmer working against tissue swelling, those relaxed muscles and not doing their make up (if they wore any) quite right because it’s someone else doing it. Aka maybe friend filled in her brows less so it just looks slightly different.
Subjectively: I’m sorry for your loss. Death is a hard thing to grapple with at any age but especially in the ‘we are immortal’ phase in early 20s! Try have a favourite photo of them accessible in your phone and when you remember how they looked wrong after death pull up that photo.
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