Why do most forms of abuse heighten the startle response so dramatically, even years after the abuse ended?

Question

I was emotionally / psychologically abused for a brief amount of time by a parent when I was a child. I was never diagnosed with PTSD and the abuse has never really bothered me mentally. Over a decade later, I jump every time someone touches me and occasionally when people say my name, no matter who it is. Sometimes I will be fully aware that someone is about to touch me (friend giving me a hug, significant other holding my hand, etc.) and I will still jump as if they caught me off guard. I have also heard some similar stories from other people, none of whom were physically abused. Is there a reason for why this happens?

In: Biology

Answer 1

Your brain is really, really good at learning and executing patterns. That is a large part of what it’s designed to do, after all! And it will keep doing whatever it’s been programmed to do until given another program — especially when its current program is about keeping you safe from threats and danger, which is considered the highest-priority program for survival of all. Think of this as the CD currently in the deck.  

So it’s not enough that the abuse has stopped. As long as the program /  operating system / CD in the deck is the same one, the one that’s been taught HOLY CRAP LOOK OUT THINGS ARE DANGEROUS, it will keep playing. Sometimes the only way to stop it from playing is to figure out how to eject the CD, stop the program, write a new one, record a new album, and run the new program / play the new album instead. Finding the eject or stop button takes time, and writing the new program or album takes time, and might even sound or feel weird at first because it’s different from the one that’s been playing for so long. 

And in the meantime, anything else that triggers the old program is going to make it harder to hit stop / eject / delete.  This is the process of retraining the nervous system / healing from trauma. It is an active process, and it usually takes work. 

But our minds are remarkably adaptive, and will learn what we teach them. If you can gradually teach your nervous system that things have changed, and how to run a new program, bit by bit, it will. This is called “neuroplasticity.”