whenever i look back at college videos, or things from my childhood, school, stuff like that, it always makes me feel sick, like i want to throw up. everything just feels like shit when i try to reminisce. why is this?
i’m a very material person, i keep (hoard) absolutely everything and i have a memory box full to the brim with photos, tickets and trinkets and such that i like to keep, but i hate looking at it all. i only ever open it to add to it.
edit: elaboration
In: Biology
Do you just mean the physical aspect? Or have you also noticed an emotional aspect?
Often times nostalgia is perceived as uncomfortable or even making you feel sick or sad if you feel like your life was better back then. Say, you look at those college videos or childhood videos and consciously or subconsciously compare them to today, and you dont like that comparison.
I’ve never heard of this before, how about looking back at things you didn’t enjoy at the time?
I know what you mean and I think it’s because you’re mistaking it for something that’s supposed to make you happy. Nostalgia is inherently a sad feeling. But unlike sad feelings, nostalgia is disguised as a happy feeling, so it sneaks up on you and punches you when you aren’t expecting it. In my experience, anyway
I saw in another reply that you said you’re autistic (I am as well), and re-reading the post with that context made me realize that the feeling you’re describing is similar to one I sometimes get when I’m emotionally overstimulated. I’ve never felt that way in relation to nostalgia but I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what is going on in your case, especially if you have a lot of complex feelings tied to those memories.
Could be something to do with mortality and the passage of time? Don’t think that’s the common reason but if you’re anything like me, I definitely get the ‘impending doom’ kind of sick over nostalgic things.
Nostalgia at its root is homesickness and the uncanniness of the desire for that which can never be again. That displacement and loss exists in degrees and certainly can have the affect you describe.
I feel exactly the same so I’m not sure if I’d be biased or not, but for me its the fact that I am at a spot in life where I feel lonely and isolated, so looking at times where yes, I had less freedom in terms of money and all, I had less worries too and more time to spend with friends. Now I am in the march of life and it feels like I’ve ran out of special experiences.
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