Why Spinal Injuries (Even Minor Ones) Are Next To Impossible To Completely Fix.
In: Biology
Medical Student: Dr. Frankenstein?
Dr. Frankenstein: My name is “Fronkenshteen.”
Medical Student: Dr. “Fronkenschteen” isn’t it true that Darwin preserved a piece of vermicelli in a glass case until, by some extrordinary means, it actually began to move with voluntary motion?
Dr. Frankenstein: Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti?
[the class laughs]
Medical Student: Why, the worm, sir.
Dr. Frankenstein: Yes, I did read something of that incident when I was a student, but you have to remember that a worm… with very few exceptions… is not a human being.
Medical Student: But wasn’t that the whole basis of your grandfather’s work? The reanimation of dead tissue?
Dr. Frankenstein: My grandfather was a very sick man.
Medical Student: But as a “Fronkenshteen” aren’t you the least bit curious? Doesn’t the bringing to life what was once dead hold any interest for you?
Dr. Frankestein: You are talking about the non-sensical ravings of a lunatic mind; dead is dead!
Student: But look at what has been done with hearts and kidneys…
Dr. Frankenstein: [starting to shout] Hearts and kidneys are TINKER-TOYS!! I’m talking about the central nervous system!!
Student: But, sir…
Dr. Frankenstein: I am a scientist, not a philosopher! [picks up a scalpel] You have a better chance of re-animating this SCALPEL then you would of mending broken nervous tissue!
Student: But what about your grandfather’s work?
Dr. Frankenstein: MY GRANDFATHER’S WORK WAS DOO-DOO!!! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me IS THE PRESERVATION OF LIFE!!!
[in his anger, Dr. Frankenstein stabs himself in the leg with the scalpel, grimaces, then crosses his legs]
Dr. Frankenstein: Class…is…dismissed!
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