Eli5 How are bidets hygienic

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Eli5 how are bidets hygienic? You have the ones that attached to your regular toilet seat. I know from experience, because I once took a bladder pain medication that turned my pee neon orange, that when I pee it splashes literally everywhere. And if you’ve ever been in a public bathroom, you know that sometimes people have explosive poop. Now wouldn’t that get on the novel of the bidet?

You also have the ones that are completely separate unit from the toilet. So what do I do there waddle myself over to the bidet with pee dripping from my vag and poop between my butt cheeks? Also I’ve heard, I may be wrong that you are supposed to straddle up a bidet and face the back, so if that’s true do I have to take off my pants? Seems like quite a process to just use the bathroom.

And this is my most wondered about question. Sometimes I get these really sticky poops, and I can tell you for a fact that a jet of water unless incredibly high volume and high speed to the point where it will probably hurt, is not getting that poop off my butt.

So yeah all these questions about how a bidet could actually be hygienic. Obviously I know they are because they are used around the world except for the United States, hence why I’ve never used one

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The bidet I have is a separate hose but it’s right next to the toilet so I use it on the toilet.

It’s great because it’s away from and unintentional messes and then you can even use it to hose down the toilet when cleaning.

I can’t say much for the ones that attach to the seat itself but I’d imagine it’s only as clean as you keep it, so I would trust ones outside my home.

My bidet has a self cleaning nozzle, so after you do your messy business, it cleans itself off.

Yeah wth people say youre gonna save toilet paper but id imagine just splashing the water on yourself isnt cleaning the shit and youd still need the toilet paper

Seen on reddit or elsewhere.

Imagine these nylon car mats. Smear peanut butter on them.

Do you clean with toilet paper alone or would you use tempered water?

The one we have has a “wash” selector that cleans the outside of the nozzle in the event of “splashes.”

The pressure is plenty high enough to clean any and all types of poop, plus it has an angle adjuster by the clean selector. During those “extra messy” poops I like to put it on full blast and sweep the angle adjuster back and forth slowly to hydro scrape my bum.

We like the bidet attachement so much we put one on every toilet in our house. Give it a shot, the price of entry is low and you’ll most likely see the benefits of it after your 1st go.

Use just a bit of tp to get the big gunks off, move over

You direct the water stream and use your hand to rub your anus/vag until it squeeks. You’ll get the hang of it

I have a toilet mount bidet, the nozzles stay recessed behind a shield when not in use. The water pressure causes them to push down below the shield. Yes, the shield can get… gross at times but the actual spray apparatus is behind the splatter guard. Regardless of whether you have a bidet or not you should always clean a splattered bowl asap for hygienic reasons (toothbrush/razors/eye care/first aid/etc. usually resides in the bathroom).

I have one that attaches to the toilet. It has a nozzle wash setting to rinse it after using.
I cannot imagine a situation where paper would get poop off better than a bidet. Do you let poop dry on you butt? No? Then the bidet will clean you just fine

Also I’m in the US and I know several friends that have them

I can’t comment on how your particular situation will pan out while using a bidet but people in many countries use water to clean up rather than using toilet paper. Water is gentler on the vulva and anus. It is also environmentally friendly.

Using toilet paper to wipe does leave remnants even if you use lots of it. If you rub it away aggressively, you risk damaging the soft skin of your anus (and your vulva). The anus skin is similar to the one on your lips and you wouldn’t be rubbing your lips aggressively with toilet paper.

Washing with water is done in many ways – from carrying a pot of water, using a spray nozzle, using a stand-alone bidet or one attached to a toilet seat. The French have been using stand-alone bidets since the 1600s and other parts of the world have been using water to clean up forever. The Japanese make the best toilet seat bidets. They even have them on their bullet trains.

Having used many types of bidets in many countries and at home, the bidet attached to the toilet seats spray water at various temperatures and pressures that you can control. More expensive ones also have jets that can be moved backwards or forwards to suit your position.

The spray also generally has two modes – feminine wash (softer, angled differently and directed towards the vulva) and a bottom wash which is directed towards the anus. The pressure is sufficient to rinse out the anus and get rid of any faecal matter.
Since it’s washed away, it is better than using toilet paper. Personally, it cleans up well both front and back.

You can also clean up after sex.

Some of your other concerns have been addressed by others.

Anyway here are two articles that may help you.

[Here’s an article on why Americans don’t use bidets](https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/555770/)

[And a detailed one on using a bidet](https://www.healthline.com/health/bidets-bad-or-good-for-health)

French native here: the separate bidet is basically a sink for your nether regions. You use the toilet, use toilet paper to wipe, THEN you go straddle the bidet, use soap and warm water, wash and rinse. I would personally NEVER EVER EVER use the modern contraptions that are attached to the toilet, those scream UTI, to me.

Other than the one french comment I can’t tell how many of these are from people who actually own bidets, grew up with those and so on. There’s a lot of nonsense written here.

I’ve been using a bidet (a sink looking thing separate from the toilet) all my life.

You finish your toilet biz, you wipe with paper, get off, use the bidet so that you crouch with you ass hanging above it, so that all water falls where it should … in that position you use your hand to scrub your ass with the water helping you … it’s like washing your hands … although I don’t use soap, I don’t need my ass THAT clean.

I’d never use anything that sprinkles water from within the toilet bowl …. that’s just filthy.

I’ve had a bidet for a couple years now. Specifically, the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 from that South American river store. It’s got hot and cold water, self cleaning, a poo protector for the drop down nozzle and all that. Mine has a temp selection as well as adjustable pressure. Barely open is a soft stream, I would equate it to the flow from a drinking fountain. All the way open it’ll make a 7’ tall arc from the toilet into the bathtub. My fiancée was not amused by this.

For me, the process is sit down/do your business/wipe/spray/wipe and you’re done.

Most of the time, it’s just a convenience. But those alcohol fueled post 3am Taco Bell hangover shits are where the bidet shines. The liquid magma rolling through your guts in such a way that you can HEAR it preparing to batter your back door. The icy chill of Posideons kiss on your rosebud after a deuce of that magnitude is refreshing.

Also, I’m a hirsute guy so occasionally it’s like trying to wipe peanut butter out of shag carpet. That’s where the bidet earns it’s keep.

Do you ever notice that when you stand and piss into the toilet while not wearing shorts, you get splatter all over your legs.

Yes this is completely unrelated but think about it the next time you’re taking the piss.

Bum guns is where it’s at; basically a handheld low pressure washer, you just sit further from the water tank and spray away, you can even use soap and then paper just to dry, you’ll feel weird the first couple times but you can never go back to just wiping. The other kinds of bidets suck in comparison BTW.

My bidet Opens up when you hit the button before that it’s in side the seat behind a little garage door style flap on its way out it’s Spews water and because the nozzle hose thing is telescoping water is designed to spray over top cleaning it and it does that before and after doing the business so it’s self cleans itself assuming anything was to get onto it