Eli5 how are bidets hygienic? You have the ones that attached to your regular toilet seat. I know from experience, because I once took a bladder pain medication that turned my pee neon orange, that when I pee it splashes literally everywhere. And if you’ve ever been in a public bathroom, you know that sometimes people have explosive poop. Now wouldn’t that get on the novel of the bidet?
You also have the ones that are completely separate unit from the toilet. So what do I do there waddle myself over to the bidet with pee dripping from my vag and poop between my butt cheeks? Also I’ve heard, I may be wrong that you are supposed to straddle up a bidet and face the back, so if that’s true do I have to take off my pants? Seems like quite a process to just use the bathroom.
And this is my most wondered about question. Sometimes I get these really sticky poops, and I can tell you for a fact that a jet of water unless incredibly high volume and high speed to the point where it will probably hurt, is not getting that poop off my butt.
So yeah all these questions about how a bidet could actually be hygienic. Obviously I know they are because they are used around the world except for the United States, hence why I’ve never used one
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I can’t comment on how your particular situation will pan out while using a bidet but people in many countries use water to clean up rather than using toilet paper. Water is gentler on the vulva and anus. It is also environmentally friendly.
Using toilet paper to wipe does leave remnants even if you use lots of it. If you rub it away aggressively, you risk damaging the soft skin of your anus (and your vulva). The anus skin is similar to the one on your lips and you wouldn’t be rubbing your lips aggressively with toilet paper.
Washing with water is done in many ways – from carrying a pot of water, using a spray nozzle, using a stand-alone bidet or one attached to a toilet seat. The French have been using stand-alone bidets since the 1600s and other parts of the world have been using water to clean up forever. The Japanese make the best toilet seat bidets. They even have them on their bullet trains.
Having used many types of bidets in many countries and at home, the bidet attached to the toilet seats spray water at various temperatures and pressures that you can control. More expensive ones also have jets that can be moved backwards or forwards to suit your position.
The spray also generally has two modes – feminine wash (softer, angled differently and directed towards the vulva) and a bottom wash which is directed towards the anus. The pressure is sufficient to rinse out the anus and get rid of any faecal matter.
Since it’s washed away, it is better than using toilet paper. Personally, it cleans up well both front and back.
You can also clean up after sex.
Some of your other concerns have been addressed by others.
Anyway here are two articles that may help you.
[Here’s an article on why Americans don’t use bidets](https://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/555770/)
[And a detailed one on using a bidet](https://www.healthline.com/health/bidets-bad-or-good-for-health)
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