What is borderline personality disorder

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I’ve tried researching it and many explanations seem to be emotionally charged, judgmental, and non-factual. “They’re so evil and manipulative!” Okay, but can you actually describe what it is?

The the factual, non-biased explanations show what’s in the DSM-5, but it’s kind of vague. What exactly is it? What might people with BPD do to avoid abandonment? Etc.

Edit: Just wanted to thank everyone for their reply. Everyone has brought something of value and an interesting perspective.

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26 Answers

Anonymous 0 Comments

I actually have my first appt with a therapist for these very reasons(not all of them. But def a good chunk of what was included in this list.) Just kinda took me by surprising reading this

Anonymous 0 Comments

Completely serious, if you have time watch “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” through all the seasons to watch Rebecca’s journey to her diagnosis. Bonus, it’s hilarious and heartfelt.

Anonymous 0 Comments

Best book title ever (imho) is about borderline. “I hate you; don’t leave me.” Perfectly sums this disorder up.

Anonymous 0 Comments

The word “borderline” means the border between psychosis and neurosis.

The NIMH definition is accurate, but doesn’t ELI5 as you’re requesting. Based on the book I link to below, and I can tell you also from my first hand experience, that BPD has roots in feeling worthless. Behavior which can be seen as damaging or uncomfortable or abusive, can also be explained as someone with BPD having an overwhelming need to be perceived as having worth. It’s not just being “evil” or “manipulative”, there’s a reason WHY the behavior occurs. The mindset is closer to: “You’re wrong, you aren’t hurt by me. I can’t have hurt you, because if I did then I was wrong, and if I was wrong you won’t love me, and if you don’t love me I’m worthless and will be abandoned. So I didn’t hurt you, you are not hurt, because I can’t be revealed to be worthless.” Something like that.

I STRONGLY recommend you read the book [“Stop Walking On Eggshells”](https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901), which describes BPD through the lens of the family and friends of those who suffer from it. It makes it much easier to identify, and to understand the difference between “high functioning” and “low functioning” BPD.

Also, it’s worth noting that BPD is often diagnosed alongside narcissistic personality disorder, they amplify each other in some ways.

I hope this helps.

Anonymous 0 Comments

I worked in mental health years ago and there seems to also be a difference between genders for borderline personality disorder. I may be incorrect but since I am a female, most of my female patients i worked with this diagnosis were consistently on suicide watch (why I mentioned being a female bc this includes arms distance at all times including bathroom and shower)

Anonymous 0 Comments

Emotion dysregulation, interpersonal issues, and sometimes self harming behavior usually linked to early trauma or emotional neglect. Also a heavily pathologizing wastebasket diagnosis for mental health workers who dislike their patients.

Anonymous 0 Comments

For normal people they seem manipulative and abusive because not even the person with BPD knows what they really want. Distorted emotions takes the best of them. Since to them they feel like they are the ones being manipulated and they go down the wrong thought loop which leads them to do the wrong thing or make the wrong decision.

This may seem out of control to the other person because all of this is imaginary.

Also Borderline personalities have had issues growing up. Abusive childhood that leads them to develop such personalities.

Anonymous 0 Comments

The definition on the NIMH website isn’t vague at all:

People with borderline personality disorder may experience mood swings and display uncertainty about how they see themselves and their role in the world. As a result, their interests and values can change quickly.

People with borderline personality disorder also tend to view things in extremes, such as all good or all bad. Their opinions of other people can also change quickly. An individual who is seen as a friend one day may be considered an enemy or traitor the next. These shifting feelings can lead to intense and unstable relationships.

Other signs or symptoms may include:

* Efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, such as rapidly initiating intimate (physical or emotional) relationships or cutting off communication with someone in anticipation of being abandoned
* A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
* Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
* Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. **Please note:** If these behaviors occur primarily during a period of elevated mood or energy, they may be signs of a mood disorder—not borderline personality disorder
* Self-harming behavior, such as cutting
* Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats
* Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
* Chronic feelings of emptiness
* Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
* Difficulty trusting, which is sometimes accompanied by irrational fear of other people’s intentions
* Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, seeing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality

Not everyone with borderline personality disorder experiences every symptom. Some individuals experience only a few symptoms, while others have many. Symptoms can be triggered by seemingly ordinary events. For example, people with borderline personality disorder may become angry and distressed over minor separations from people to whom they feel close, such as traveling on business trips. The severity and frequency of symptoms and how long they last will vary depending on the individual and their illness.

Anonymous 0 Comments

Ive heard someone say somewhere “They are just like everyone else… Just more so.”

“Understand the bordline Mother ” was a great read on this issue.

Anonymous 0 Comments

Dave Foley, whose ex-wife was BPD, explains it like this (paraphrasing) ‘when they love you, you are the most angelic creature ever. When they hate you, they’ll do anything to destroy you: and you never know who’s going to show up’.